Abstract Vivacity
by AubreyMarie
Summary: Two people. Two lives. Very different people. Extremely different lives. Two people. Two lives. Both end up coming as one.   Eli/Clare fan-fic. Better brief summary in the first chapter.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Title:** Abstract Vivacity

**Characters:** Eli Goldsworthy and Clare Edwards.

**Brief Summary:** Eli has been growing up surrounded by a difficult life. When his life has finally spun out of control, who will save him? Not Clare. This is not a Damsel in Distress "save me" story. This is realistic. Who will save Clare when her life starts going from great to horrid? Not Eli. Again, not a Damsel in Distress "save me" story. But maybe instead of saving each other, they can find a way to get through the drama… possibly together.

_Eli's POV. _

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

I wake up to the sound of my alarm's consistency. I groan softly, before hitting the alarm off. I lay there for a few minutes, capturing just a little more warmth from my bed, before getting up to get ready for school.

I first walk to the bathroom… to do some business, as does everyone in the morning, and then get dressed for my first day of Degrassi Community High School. Excited? No. Nervous? Yes. Who isn't nervous their first day of high school?

Most people thrive to make an impression for their first day. Not me. I'm going to wear what I always wear: all black. I'm not going for a label; I just like the color. Black: the color is simple, but becomes complex if you give time to think about it.

I throw on a black v-neck shirt that hugs my torso, along with black skinny jeans. I brush through my hair, and then add a tiny bit of eye-liner around my eyes. No, I'm not gay. I just like how it makes my eyes stand out a little more.

I put on my socks and boots quietly, not wanting to wake up my little sister who I share a room with, and throw my book bag over my shoulder. I then walk to the kitchen, only taking a second, because the door to my room is in the kitchen.

The trailer I live in shakes slightly. My dad is awake. I guess I'll prepare breakfast for us this morning since I'm awake first. My dad and I are the "chefs" of the family. I live in a small trailer with my dad and my younger sister, who is 13 - almost 14 - years old. I recently have turned 16.

As I make pancakes, my sister walks into the kitchen. Her eyes are dark, obviously tired. She couldn't sleep last night. She has been excited for school to come around for weeks. Our personalities differ in many ways when it comes to our emotions and feelings, but are almost exactly alike when it's down to tastes in music, clothing, etc.

"Pancakes!" My sister exclaims, a smile instantly covering half of her face. I roll my eyes, and then smile.

"Cristina, must you scream "Pancakes" every time you see me making them?" I ask, using a spatula to remove the pancakes from the frying pan onto a plate. I place the plate of pancakes on the table, and then wash my hands. My sister skips washing her hands, and immediately puts four pancakes onto her plate.

"Fat ass." I laughed, before sitting across from her at the table and putting two pancakes on my plate.

"Shut up!" She says through laughter, layering her pancakes with syrup, and then stuffing a big chunk of pancakes into her mouth. "I'm not a fat ass!" She muffles, food in her mouth. We start laughing, as my dad walks into the living/dining room.

"Pancakes? Again? Damn… At this point I'm going to eat leftover chicken for breakfast." My dad says, as he makes his way to the fridge. He puts the leftover chicken from last nights' dinner in the microwave, and then gives it 30 seconds to warm up. The microwave dings, and then he places some pieces of chicken onto a plate and sits at the table with my sister and I.

"So you kids excited for school? I wish I could've got y'all some new supplies this year…" My dad says, taking a bite of chicken.

"Dad, we're fine with what we have." My sister replies, for the both of us. He always beat himself up for not being able to "supply us enough." It's not like we're living on the streets. It's not like he's the reason my mom abandoned us three years ago…

"Thank the lord I raised such easy-to-please kids." Dad says, smiling. The smile is contagious throughout the three of us, and we finish breakfast. I say good-bye to Cristina and my dad, and then leave the house for school around 6:30 AM. School starts at 7:30 AM, and I like to be early, so I leave the house before anyone.

I threw my book bag in the passenger seat of my hearse, and took off to school. Yes, my car is a hearse. And I know what you're asking: Why would I drive a hearse?

Why _wouldn't I _drive a hearse.

After about ten minutes, I approach the parking lot of the school. I see a parking space near the entrance, and park in it easily. I throw my book bag over my shoulder, and hop out of the car.

I walk up the steps, and walk through the glass doors. Some people are here early, too.

Ugh. I'm not much of a people person. I'm not anti-social or anything, but I just don't like the feeling of being judged, which I am everywhere I go. The nicknames "Trailer Trash" and "Emo Boy" spread around, you know.

I take the paper out of my pocket that everyone received from the school in the mail. It gave us our schedule for the day, and our locker number and combination. The paper also displayed a map.

My locker, thank goodness, is right by the school entrance doors. I take a few steps over, and find locker 107.

Crap. I have never used a locker in my life, and now I have no clue how to put in the combination for one.

I try going straight to each number, and pressing down on each. I try opening it.

Nothing.

I try different ways of opening it, and after about 10 minutes of trying, I finally kick the locker next to mine in anger.

"Thanks for leaving a dent in my locker." Someone says behind me. I turn to see a girl with red-brown hair, and blue eyes. She wore a green v-neck shirt, and a white, ruffled skirt. I moved aside a little, so she could get to her locker.

"Sorry…" I apologize. Good job, Eli. Pissing people off, already.

"It's okay." She says. She puts in her combination, and her locker opens in her first try.

I swear, my jaw dropped. She turned to look at me, and she smiled.

"What?" she asked.

"How did you do that?"

"Well… You see, on this little piece of paper," she lifts the paper from her hand, "it says three numbers. Those three numbers are called our locker combinat-"

"I'm not that much of a dumbass." I smirked. We laughed, and she took the paper from me. She then put the combination into my lock, and then opened my locker.

"Ta-da!" She smiled, as she began to put her books into her locker.

"Thanks…" I pause, not knowing her name.

"Clare." She smiled. I smiled back at her.

"Eli." I say, shaking her hand. She chuckled, and then closed her locker shut before walking away.

Wow… Someone who didn't judge me. Maybe I can finally have a friend?

Who am I kidding. It's not too long before she finds out facts and rumors about my family and where I live.

The first four periods of the day flew by; World History, Geometry Honors, Biology 1 Honors, and AP Biology. I took two Biology courses, because I loved the subject. Science, although I would never consider it a career path, always interested me. I took almost all advanced/honors courses, too. I'm pretty smart, if I do say so myself. Someone has to be the first one to go to college in my family.

Now, it's time for lunch. I had brought an apple… My favorite fruit. I didn't eat that much, just because I didn't feel like eating often. I walk outside to the picnic benches, and look around at the crowded area. I see Clare sitting by herself at a bench. I was pretty surprised to see her not surrounded by a bunch of people. She seemed like someone who would have a countless number of friends.

I continue to look around, until I hear my name being called. "Eli! Over here!" I turn my head, and see Clare calling me over to sit with her. Really? It was probably a joke.

I walk over to her, and give her a glare. She looks at me, confused.

"You don't have to sit here if you don't want to." she asks, seeming completely clueless as to why I was glaring at her. Maybe she wasn't joking…

"No, no, no… I'm sorry, I'm just use to people jerking me around." I say, sitting across from her. She takes a sandwich out of her brown paper bag.

"Don't be sorry… If you're use to the worst, you're going to expect the worst, right?" She says, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"I guess…" I say, taking a bite of my apple. After a moment of silence, some skater-looking guy approaches the table.

"Hey, Clare." He says. She gives him a glare that could kill. He then looks to the ground, his smile fallen, and walks away.

"Damn." Was all I could say. She chuckled, and then swallowed some water before responding.

"What?"

"That was cold… What'd he do?" I ask, curiosity getting the best of me. She sighs.

"That's my ex-boyfriend. He cheated on me with…" she pauses, pointing to a blonde cheerleader that was giggling with other cheerleaders in the middle of the picnic area, "her."

"Wow… He cheated on _you_ with _that?_" I reply, honestly. Clare was… well, as any person in the right mind could see, naturally beautiful. That girl was… Barbie-looking.

"Yup. But, I don't really care anymore. I didn't like him much, to begin with." I nodded, as I continued eating my apple. After some silence, she starts to talk.

"So, what about you? Any of your ex-girlfriends go here?"

"Never had a girlfriend." I answer, honestly. She nearly chokes on her water.

"_Really?_" She asks, surprise thick in her voice.

"Yeah… I don't see how that's so surprising to you." I say, with half a laugh.

"Well… Saying this, as a friend: You're _very _good-looking." I laughed a little, then smiled. She called me a friend.

"It's not really a matter of looks… Its me, and what's heard about me." I say.

"Well… What is heard about you?" She asks. My smile falls. Bye-bye, friend.

"Not really rumors… Most of it's true. To sum it all up: I'm trailer trash." I look from my apple to her eyes, and wait for her to walk away. There was a long pause, and she didn't budge.

"Um… And?" She asks. Huh?

"What do you mean "And?" I'm poor. And live in a small trailer with my dad and sister. My family is filled with truckers and gamblers." I say, a part of me _wanting_ her to walk away, just so she wouldn't have to be embarrassed of being my "friend."

"So, let me get this straight: You've never had any girlfriends or many friends because people were pompous jerks?" She asks, her face serious. A smile spreads on my face. She didn't judge me.

"I guess… Thanks." I say, finishing my apple.

"For what?"

"For not judging me." We exchange smiles, and then share some talk about the school. The bell rings for next period, and we part our separate ways.

Throughout the whole next period, all I could think about was Clare. Not in a romantic way, just in a "Yay! New friend!" sort of way. I liked spending time with her… She was different than everyone, and I was interested in knowing more about her.

The bell rang for the last period of the day, where I had Advanced English 1. I walked into the class, and to my surprise, Clare was there! A smile instantly stretched out on my face, and I took the seat in front of hers.

"Eli?" I hear her say, softly. I turn around in my seat.

"I believe that's my name." I smirked. She rolled her eyes, and then smiled. I turn around in my seat for the start of English class.

**A/N: Okay guys! Hope you liked the first chapter. I love reviews! Leave 'em, please! =)**


	2. Chapter 2: Questions & Subway

**A/N: WOW! It's been over a month! Sorry it took me FOREVER to update! Prioritizing schoolwork, a new puppy, video making, and story updating is difficult. Anyway: Enjoy Chapter 2! =)**

_Eli's POV. _

"Welcome to Advanced English! I'm Ms. Dawes, and I'll be your teacher for the rest of the year. We're going to skip going over procedures and rules, since I'm sure you've heard all of that already, and start today with your first assignment." The class groaned in unison, bringing a smile to the teachers' face.

"First, I am going to let you guys pair yourselves up in groups of two. Your group will then receive two sheets of five questions, and each person will get one sheet. The questions are all the same, and all of them came from the top of my head. You may start picking your partners." And with that, I turned myself around in my desk, and looked at Clare. She was staring out the window, as if she had heard nothing Ms. Dawes just said.

"Clare?" I said her name questionably, and waited for a response. She appeared to be deep in thought. I see a loose curl of her hair, and tug on it softly. She flinches slightly, and then turns to meet my eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I was thinking about something."

"It's fine. Did you hear what the assignment was?" She nodded her head, as Ms. Dawes handed her the two papers of questions. She handed a paper to me, and we both sat in silence for a couple of seconds.

"I'll go first." I said in defeat. I looked to my paper, and start with question number one.

"What is your favorite color?" Wow. So original.

"A deep velvet, with a hint of red. Yours?" I looked at her as if she just shot a bird in front of my face. "What?" she asked.

"I didn't know someone's favorite color could be so… long. Mine's blue." She chuckled, and I smiled at her before reading the next question.

"If you could spend a night anywhere in the world, where would you?"

"North Carolina… I've heard the sky is amazing at night. Where would you?"

"Meghan Fox's bedroom." I replied, smirking. Her jaw dropped slightly in surprise of my response, making me burst out into fits of laughter.

"Eli! I'm not writing that down!"

"But it's the truth!" I retorted. She gave me a "come on" look, and I just rolled my eyes sarcastically.

"Whatever." She replied, writing my answer down. I grinned, and read question three.

"If you could lose your virginity to anyone, who would it be?" Wow, Ms. Dawes really did get these questions from the top of her head. Clare looked down at her paper, to see if that was really a question, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"Okay… Um, my husband." She said. I gave her an "uh-huh" look, and she just shook her head, and showed me her finger with her abstinence ring on it. "Oh." was all I could say. She smiled. "You have to answer the question."

"Ok. Meghan Fox." I scoffed, before laughing again. She looks at me with disgust, making it all the more funnier.

"You would lose your virginity to that _whore_? She must have zillions of STDS!"

"Who said I haven't lost my virginity to a whore already?" Her jaw officially dropped. If it was possible, it would've hit the floor.

"You said you've never had a girlfriend."

"You don't have to be in a relationship to have sex, Clare." I responded.. She held my gaze for a few seconds, before clearing her throat and reading the next question.

"What's your favorite animal?"

"The questions go from virginity to animals?" I ask. Clare laughed, but it didn't sound like her actual laugh. More of the chuckle that everybody makes when they don't want the conversation to get awkward after a joke.

"Ok… Mine's a wolf." I replied, smiling.

"Cat." I couldn't hold in my laughter at that.

"What?" She almost yelled. I cleared my laughter up, and kept a smile on my face.

"Oh nothing, cat lady." She glared at me, and I kept smiling at her. Her glare withers down, as she read the next question.

"Do you believe in love?"

"Nope." I replied. She gave me a questioning look, as I shrugged my shoulders. "Do you?" I inquired. When she was about to answer, she looked like she was second guessing herself.

"I can't say I've actually given it much thought." I nodded, and then wrote "Idk" next to Clare's response on the sheet of paper. We turned in our work, as the bell rang for the end of the day.

"Wait up!" I heard her say, as I was walking out the door. She finished putting her stuff away in her book bag, and walked out the door with me.

"We should hang out or something." She proposed. I smiled, before nodding my head to her.

"Sounds good… But where?"

"We could go get something at Subway?" She questioned. I laughed a little before responding.

"With what money? I'm not going to let you pay for me."

"We don't have to buy anything. We can get two cups of water for free." I thought for a quick moment, and then nodded again. We headed over to my hearse, and I took my car keys out of my pocket. I was about to open the door for her, but she didn't move any closer to the hearse than a few feet.

"Do we… have to go there in… a hearse? I love walking.." She stuttered, staring at my baby as if it were some type of monster.

"Well, I promised my folks I'd drop off my dead Nana Booboo at the cemetery after school before I do anything." Her eyes widened, and I bursted into fits of laughter.

"Clare, I may not be the most normal guy, but I don't carry dead people in my car."

"Ok, well even if there's no dead bodies in there, I still don't feel comfortable in a hearse." I rolled my eyes, as I put the car keys back in my pocket. She smiled, as we began to walk to Subway. Subway was less than a mile away from the school, so it wasn't that bad. It was a nice day out; The sun was shining, and the wind gave off a fresh breeze.

As we walked, we talked about TV shows and music we both liked. She and I had completely different tastes in music. I preferred upbeat, club dancing type of music along with sreamo, while she enjoyed classical and pop. Yuck.

We were waiting at an intersection, waiting for it to be ok to cross the street to Subway, suddenly when this huge, black monster truck honked it's horn at me at the stoplight.

"Nice ass, boy!" I heard a familiar, strong, voice of a woman. Her window rolled down, and both me and the woman's eyes widened with surprise.

"Aunt Debbie?" I exclaimed, fighting off laughter.

"Eli! Uh… If your father finds out about this-"

"He won't, he won't." I laughed, and shook my head. My Aunt Debbie was one of my favorite family members. She loved to gamble, and was good at it too. And she loved big trucks, and men.

The light turned green, and she drove off, almost running over the cars in front of her. Clare and I crossed the road, and walked over to Subway.

"So… Your Aunt Debbie has a thing for her nephews?" Clare joked. I laughed, before opening the door for her into Subway.

"Nah, she just has a thing for random guys walking down the street… You should've seen her when we took a family road trip." Clare gave me a quizzical look, as I laughed. Oh, how I loved my Aunt Debbie.

We approached the register at Subway, and asked for two cups for water. The employee handed us the cups, and we walked over to the soda/water machine. Clare and I filled our cups with ice and water, and then sat down across from each other at a table near the back of the place.

"So… I haven't heard much about your family?" I asked, curiously. She already had a taste of _my_ family…

"Well I live with my mom and dad, and I have an older sister Darcy who is in Kenya right now helping out with the children over there. We're just a small Christian family… My parents haven't been acting like much of a family recently, though." She sighed, as she took a few sips of her water.

"Why do you say that?"

"They've been arguing everyday, and they barely even notice I'm there anymore." Her voice nearly cracked at the last word she said. I studied her face, and saw that her eyes were starting to get slightly redder. This is always the first indication that someone was about to cry. I quickly thought of something positive to say.

"Well… at least you can sneak out of the house and not have to worry about getting caught." She chuckled, and took another sip of her water. She and I made conversation about the most random things for what felt like hours. She finally finished her water, leaving the ice. I smiled to myself, thinking of an idea.

I took a piece of ice from her cup, and put it in my mouth. She gave me a confused look, before I spat out the ice back into her cup. Her jaw dropped in disgust.

"Ew! Eli!" I laughed hysterically at her grossed out expression, before handing her a piece of ice.

"Just try it! It's fun!" I practically begged her. She glared at the ice reluctantly, before snatching it from my hand and putting it in her mouth. She aimed for my cup, but the ice hit my face instead. As I gasped in repulsion, she began to laugh the hardest I think I've ever seen a human being laugh. The manager of the place walked over to us, glared, and then walked away.

"I think that's our cue to leave." I said, picking up our cups and throwing them away. Clare and I walked out the door, Clare still laughing hysterically. It was dark outside. I took my phone out of my pocket, and looked at the time.

"Clare, it's almost 8:30pm. We should walk back to Degrassi, and I'll give you a ride home." Her laughing ceased, and she gave off a nervous expression. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't think of it as a hearse… Think of it as… A vintage limo." She smiled, before rolling her eyes and hitting me lightly on the head. It took about 20 minutes to walk back to Degrassi, and Clare got into the car without hesitation this time. Granted, she kept whispering to herself "Vintage limo, vintage limo."

Clare gave me directions to her house during the first minute of the car ride, and it was silent ever since. We were a couple of minutes away from her house. We approached a stoplight, and I looked over to her. She was clearly in deep thought, and was staring out the window. The red glow from the light beamed at her face, and her eyes were bright with tears. A tear rolled down her cheek, and my thumb gently wiped it away. She turned to me, and we held eye contact for a moment before the car behind me honked twice. We both flinched in surprise at the loud sound, and I continued placing my focus on the road. Well, most of my focus. My thoughts were racing as to why she was crying. And then I remembered her telling me about her mom and dad fighting. Was it really that bad?

We stopped in front of her house, and she wiped her face off with her sleeve before opening her car door.

"Thanks for the ride, Eli." She said, as she got out of the car. She closed the car door, and then walked up to her house slowly. I waited in my car until she got in her house, and then sighed as I didn't move. I turned off my ignition, and just sat there. I examined her home. Nice, two-story house. Good landscaping. It made my heart drop to imagine my friend being sad in there, probably feeling lonely.

I decided I couldn't leave her there to cry herself to sleep. I had to make sure she would be alright. I called my dad, and told him I would be home in a couple of hours. He ok'ed it. I got out of my car, and approached her front door.

**A/N: Hope this made up for the lack of updates! I'll try to update this again next week, along with Never Say Never. Don't forget to review please! (=**


	3. Chapter 3: Journals & Sleepovers

**A/N: Thanks so much for the feedback! I love reading reviews, and a lot of the time I re-read them to keep me inspired to keep writing the story. I've been so busy with schoolwork, and it's paid off! I earned straight A's on my first high school report card(= And with that happiness, I decided it was finally time to update this story! Chapter 3...**

_Eli's POV. _

I approached her front door, and hesitated, not knowing whether to knock or not. What if her parents don't like me knocking on their door this late? What if her parents don't believe that Clare would be friends with someone like me?

I decided it was safer to just go through the window… The tree nearby her window had plenty of branches that had "easy climb" written all over them. It took me only a minute to climb up the tree, and approach what I hoped was her bedroom window. I opened it with ease, and jumped into the room.

"Clare, are y-" I paused myself as I made eye contact, with whom I assumed was Clare's mother, laying out her laundry on her bed.

"W-Who are you?" Clare's mom exclaimed in a worried tone. My heart rate got faster and faster, not knowing what to do.

"I'm E-Ohh-" I was at loss of words when Clare walked into the room wearing a red towel wrapped loosely around her body. I quickly looked away at the wall… but the half-a-second of seeing Clare like that will forever be engraved in my mind. I see her as my friend, but…

_Damn._

"ELI!" Clare shrieked, as I began to smirk to myself. I couldn't help it! Here I am, standing in the corner of - what I believe is - her room, while her mom is in shock of some random boy being here at such late hour, and to top it all off; Clare in a towel. This was a night we'll all look back on and laugh at.

"Here are some clothes honey…" I heard her mom say, her voice shaking. I heard the ruffling of clothing and a closet door open and close. I turned around to see Ms. Edwards glaring at me. I smiled shyly, and fixed my eyes on the ground.

Clare joined us, dressed in a big, green t-shirt and black pajama pants.

"Mom, this is my friend Eli." Her mother gave her a _very_ disapproving face.

"Do you let all your _friends_ that happen to be _boys_ climb through your window at these late hours?"

"What?" Clare raised her voice, "What are you trying to imply?"

"Well you have some goth kid jumping into your window while you walk into the room in a towel! What am I _not _implying?"

"Eli is just a friend, mom! I'm not like that! I don't even know why he's here!" I think that was my cue to leave. I began to walk towards the window, but stopped when her mom threw a glass picture-frame at the wall.

"Darcy always said she wasn't "like that" but she turned into a _slut! _And now you're becoming one too!" Her mom roared before leaving the room. Clare's eyes began to water, and she began to pace back and forth slightly.

"Just leave, I'm fine." She lied, trying her best to fake a smile. I slowly walked in front of her, breaking her pace as she broke into my arms, weeping into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her shaking body and held her, still in shock of what just happened. I didn't let her go until I heard her sobs fade into light sniffles.

"I know I don't even know you that well, but I know you well enough to know you're not a slut." she gave me a genuine smile, and then wiped her face with the palms of her hands.

"I know I'm not… She just makes me believe I am, at times. But at the end of the day, I know what I am and what I'm not."

"That's good." I smiled.

"So… Why were you in my room, anyway?" I laughed, before replying to her question.

"You were crying when you left, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm okay." She assured me. I looked to her alarm clock, and saw that it was almost 9:45pm.

"I should get going. It's a school night, and I don't want to keep you up."

"You can stay here?" She proposed, "I wouldn't want you having to drive all the way home and everything this late."

I thought about it for a minute, and then nodded in agreement. "Yay! Sleepover!" I squealed in a girl's voice. She and I laughed in unison, but our laughter was interrupted by the vibrating of Clare's phone. She pulled the phone out of her pocket, and then looked from me, to her phone, and then back to me.

"Can I take this?" she asked, her voice hopeful. I nodded, and she left the room.

I stood in her room… Alone. My eyes began to wonder around, until they were fixed on a purple, slightly worn-out looking notebook. My eyes twinkled in delight of hopes of finding something juicy in there. I picked it up, and without hesitation opened up to the first page while taking a seat on the bed.

"_Dear Journal," _the page started out with. Jackpot! Now, I know what you're thinking; but the word "privacy" doesn't exist in my vocabulary.

"_KC and I just got home from our first official date! Eeee! He smelled like that Axe cologne when I hugged him! We went out to the movies, and watched… well, we weren't paying much attention to the movie ;D haha! I didn't do anything stupid, of course… We just made out throughout almost the whole movie! He tasted like-"_

"Next page…" I said to myself, flipping over to the next page only to see a continuation. I laughed to myself, before flipping another page. Another date with KC… next page. I continued flipping through pages, until I caught a page that didn't start with any of the words _"KC! Omg! Eeee! Date!"_

"_Dear Journal, _

_Today wasn't the best… Is it insecure to think one of your friends wants your boyfriend? And is it even __more__ insecure to think that he wants her too? KC and I were minding our own business, talking by my locker, when Jenna walks up to us and starts to make conversation. _

'_Hey, Clarebear and KC!' Her voice couldn't have sounded more fake, if she tried. I faked a smile, and looked up at KC. His eyes looked… I can't really describe. Goofy? Happy? I don't know. All I know it that I didn't like it at all. _

"_Hey J-Jenna." Yup. He actually stuttered her name. They made Googley eyes for a few seconds, before she walked away. My heart stung of jealousy for the rest of the day. KC always says he loves me, and says how perfect we are together, but I really don't know! What is love, anyway?"_

I shook my head, before flipping the next page. The date of the next entry was about a couple of weeks later from the date she had put on the top of the last one.

"_Dear Journal, _

_KC and Jenna have been spending SO MUCH time together lately! It's driving me INSANE! He and I never spend any time together anymore without him talking about what he and Jenna talked about the other night, or about how Jenna looked that day, or about what he and Jenna are going to do over the weekend, blahblahblah! UGH! I hate this so much! I just know he likes her… He barely even looks at me anymore; he's too busy looking at her all the time. Why can't I be as pretty as her? Why can't I have long, blonde hair? Or a shining smile? Why can't I be the 'cheerleader type' instead of a 'nerdy girl'? Why can't I be all perky and happy all the time? _

_Why am I not good enough for KC? :'( "_

I sighed. That basterd made her feel horrible about herself. Clare's great, and if I wanted any girl, it would be her. She's just my buddy, and there's no way in hell she would ever like me that way, but no guy with the right mindset couldn't find her… _attractive,_ to say the least.

I was about to flip the next page, until I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I quickly threw the book back where it was, and took out my phone to make it look as if I were texting.

"Hey, do you mind if I stay on the phone longer? I know I've been on for a little while already, and I know I'm being rude, but I haven't talked to Alli in forever and we're getting into a conversation an-"

"Stop rambling, it's okay." I scoffed. She pretended to glare at me, and I laughed at her failed attempt. She laughed too, and then walked out to continue her conversation.

I grabbed my Clare encyclopedia, and flipped over to the page that was after the last entry I had read.

"_Dear Journal,_

_KC cheated on me; multiple times, I just found out today. Alli pretended to get really close to Jenna, to where Jenna thought they were seriously best friends, and that's when Alli did her digging. She asked Jenna about her and KC, and Jenna __boasted__ about all the sex she and KC have been having for a while now. I feel so stupid! How could I have not seen this! What is wrong with me! Am I that horrible of a girlfriend that he felt the need to cheat on me over, and over, and over again? God, I hate this… OMG! He's calling me right now! I'll write what happens…_

…_He just broke it off with me. __**He**__.__ Broke up. With __**me**__.__ This is beyond ridiculous. I can't even tell you how much I'm crying right now. He has no right to do this to me!_

_*Sigh* whatever. I'll just end up a lonely cat lady."_

So THAT'S why she didn't laugh at my cat-lady joke! It all makes sense now! Wow… He's such an ass! And a stupid one, at that! He had Clare. He would have had to be delusional to believe he needed more than her. I can't believe he would do that to her!

I decided to skip some entries, seeing they were only sad ones. After consistent flipping, I finally landed on an entry - a very recent one - that didn't start out with _":'(" _

"_Dear Journal, _

_Today was a great first day of school! I love all my teachers, and I have a new friend! His name is Eli. We met with him kicking my locker… Weird, yes, but I guess people have different ways of letting out their anger! I helped him open his locker - he didn't know how - and then later we ate lunch together! But KC actually tried to talk to me. Ugh. Oh well, it didn't ruin my day. Eli and I talked most of the time at lunch. Can you believe he's NEVER had a girlfriend? And it's all because his family isn't wealthy, and because he lives in a trailer. Talk about the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I mean really: Have girls not seen how hot he is? At times I can't believe I actually know somebody as breathtaking as him… Let alone be friends with! And he seems to have a good personality… Kinda the 'mysterious' type. He's a really cool guy(: I really want to introduce him to Alli! Although something tells me they won't get along… they're really different, but whatever! I think he and I are going to be good friends:)"_

I think I'm actually blushing. A whole journal entry dedicated to me! Ms. Clare thinks I'm _hot? _And _breathtaking? _And _mysterious? _Damn! I've never been so flattered in my life! I smiled to myself, knowing that I'm going to have to bring up this entry sooner or later.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs again, and I tossed the notebook to where it was before. Clare entered the room, looking as if she has just finished laughing, and plugged in her phone to charge for tomorrow.

"So how have you been keeping yourself busy?" She asked curiously.

"Been texting my sister… She was telling me about this _'breathtaking' _guy at her school." I contained my laughter.

"Ha, breathtaking? Ha… who uses that word anymore?" Clare laughed nervously. I smiled, knowing that if I start laughing I won't stop for the next hour.

"I really don't know… But I don't think she likes him or anything. She just likes his _cool, mysterious_ loo-"

"ELI I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU READ THAT!" Clare almost yelled. Her face blushed extremely red, as she swatted my arm.

"Ouch! What else did you expect me to do in here?"

"Not read my personal journal! How much did you read?" I felt my smile drop…

"Almost all the entries up to the one about me."

"Which one of you?" My heart's pace sped up a little. _Which one? _

"Wait, there's more than one entry of me?" Clare's blushing got worse.

"Um… uh… No… I mean… uh.."

"Clare, it's okay. I only read the first one… Um, how many were there?"

"Just two…" Awkward silence filled the air, as my eyes didn't leave hers. Her eyes were starting to get redder, like they had been before at Subway, and I sighed to myself.

"Why are you about to cry?"

"Because! I finally have a good friend besides Alli and now you probably think I'm a weird creeper that's in love with you or something and I don't want you thinking that of me and I don't want it to be awkward and-"

"Clare, you talked about how happy you were that we are friends in one of your journal entries. And supposedly you have another one written about me. So what?" I interrupted her babbling to calm her down. It was impossible not to admit that it was awkward now. I know the second entry wouldn't be her professing her undying love to me or any crap like that, but I was _really_ curious as to what she wrote.

"So it's not awkward?" Clare asked, after a sigh.

"Not at all." I lied. She smiled, and I smiled back, in the back of my head trying to think of ways to get my hands on that journal again.

"I say it's time we get some sleep." Clare said. I stood up from the bed, and looked around the room to see where I can sleep.

"We can both sleep in my bed, Eli. I'm not going to rape you in your sleep or anything." I laughed, and then hesitated.

"Um… Clare… By any chance do you have any guys' pajama bottoms?" I laughed slightly at how ridiculous the question was.

"I think KC might have left his here from a while ago. Check the bottom drawer."

I looked, to find gray, guys' sweatpants. Clare got into the bed and got comfortable, while I examined them. They were about my size.

"KC had sleepovers here?" I questioned.

"Yeah… but most of the time he always wanted something more than a sleepover… I never gave him what he wanted, which is probably why he turned to Jenna. It's really my fault, not his." I shook my head at that, and then made a quick trip to the bathroom to change into the pants.

"You really can't blame yourself for him being a horny asshole, okay?" I told her, leaving the bathroom and getting into the bed. She turned on her side, to where she was facing me, and her face displayed deep thought. She grabbed her notebook from her end table, and then handed it to me.

"You can read the second entry about you." I gave her a look, second-guessing her approval, and she nodded. I flipped to the page.

"_Dear Journal,_

_It's 1:00am, and all I can think about is Eli. He's a good friend, but there's something about him that's just… quirky, but in a good way. And when I'm with him… I feel something. 'A spark' would be an understatement. _

_I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I'm thinking about a boy at 1 o'clock in the morning. This never happened with KC. What if I start to… like Eli? He's a nice guy, but KC seemed nice, too. He and KC are really different, though. But my dad has always told me: Almost all guys are the same. They all want one thing, and a girl with my beliefs and morals is 'too good for any of them'. He probably just tells me that so I don't down on myself when no boy wants to be with me. _

_I should probably just think about homework, and school. That usually helps me fall asleep. But I don't know how I'm going to be able to get those deep, green eyes out of my head…"_

I closed the notebook, and turned to Clare.

"So, you're scared to like me?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Not necessarily scared… Just, cautious. But don't worry, I know we're just friends. I don't fantasize about us." She half-laughed. I smiled, and then handed the notebook back to her.

My face snuggled into the pillow, and took a deep, relaxing breath.

"Clare?"

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't get your eyes out of my head last night, either." I confessed. She smiled, and I caught her blushing before she turned to where her back was facing me. I smirked shyly to myself, before falling asleep in a matter of seconds.

**A/N: About 3,000 words! Probably the longest chapter I've ever written for a story! I hope you enjoyed it(= I'm really trying to give them a good, slow, pace, and I hope I'm not rushing anything. I just wanted to get the possibility of them out there. Please leave reviews! =)**


	4. Author's Apology! Please Read!

**A/N:** Hey guys, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the lack of updating. I recently went to the hospital for an infected sweat gland, and I'm still recovering from surgery and everything. I've also been distracted with school work, and bringing my grades up. And video-making has been taking priority over writing, and I'm sorry. And it's going to change. Expect updates soon, and I promise if BOTH stories aren't updated tonight, they both will be by next weekend. I'm really sorry, and I hope I haven't lost too many readers. =(


	5. Chapter 4: Agreements & Arguments

**A/N: Finally! A new chapter! I'm going to post the same thing I posted on NSN…**

**I'm out of my writer's block for this story(= For those of you who have held onto this story, I promise not to leave you hanging anymore. Updates will range every few days, not every couple of months. And I truly mean that this time. I really love you guys. =') But if I don't get more than a couple of reviews on this new chapter within the next couple of days, I'm just going to assume I lost too many readers to continue. So PLEASE REVIEW, I need to know if I should keep writing this now that I can actually write updates properly, or drop this story.**

**Chapter 4... **

_Eli's POV._

**A few weeks later…**

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of my annoying alarm, before I groaned and threw it at a wall. I think I may have broke it, but whatever. The beeping stopped.

I rolled out of bed, and groaned again, exhausted from talking to Clare on the phone until 3:00 A.M.. She and I have gotten into the habit of talking every night on the phone ever since we exchanged phone numbers a couple of weeks ago. We could start off talking about something as boring as a wall, and turn it into a whole conversation on what our dream houses look like. Talking with her on the phone is the icing of my day, although the consequence of waking up in the morning is unavoidable.

"Spent all night talking to your girlfriend on the phone?" Cristina teased, as I stumbled to the dinning table. She had already fixed up a bowl of Banana Nut Cheerios for me.

"One, she's not my girlfriend. And two, why did you make me a bowl of cereal?"

"Whatever, she'll be your girlfriend eventually. And can't a sister be loving and kind to her brother every once and a while?"

"Not unless that sister wants something." I replied, ignoring her first comment.

"Well… It's been a while since I've gotten some new clothes… And now that I've saved up my money from mowing lawns, I can finally buy some… But I can't drive."

"Sure, I can take you to the mall afterschool today." I replied. A big smile spread miles across my sister's face, as she gave me a quick hug across the table.

"Thank you so much Eli! My friends and I will be waiting for you at the parking lot of my school."

"Wait, wait, wait. You and _your friends?_" I questioned, but Cristina was already out of the room before I could even take back the agreement to take her to the mall today.

My sisters' friends were annoying as hell. They were loud, obnoxious, rude, and hated me. But I hated them too. So I guess it was somewhat even.

I looked at the clock, and with some time to spare I decided to be a little earlier to school than usual. I grabbed my bookbag, and was out the door in a matter of minutes.

I began to approach the front steps of Degrassi, until my favorite red-head and some guy caught my eye.

Clare was holding the guy, who seemed to be… crying? I walked over, not knowing where else to go, and sat down beside Clare.

"It's not your fault, KC." I held in my gasp, as I subtley took a better look at the guy.

Yup, I now recognized the cheating face of KC. Why was he crying? And why was Clare of all people holding him, and telling him that whatever he was crying about "wasn't his fault"?

"I guess you're right… You're always right, Clare… Thanks." He said, a little too nicely. He gave her a warm smile, and she returned it, as he left her embrace and walked into the school.

"So what was that all about?" I asked, curiousity getting the best of me.

"Jenna just broke up with him… After she cheated on him." I couldn't help but laugh at that. Clare gave me the look that someone would give an adult stealing candy from a baby.

"What? If that's not karma then I don't know what is." I defended myself.

"KC cheated on me a while ago. He's grown up since then. It's horrible that Jenna cheated on him."

"Horribly _entertaining_. It doesn't seem like he growed up. He was just crying like a little boy a few minutes ago." I retorted.

"So you think that if a guy cries, it makes him a little boy?"

"Well it doesn't make them a man." I replied. She shook her head at me, as she stood up from the step she was sitting on.

"Really? You think you know what makes someone a man? KC's probably a bigger man than you'll ever be." She snapped. I felt anger begin to build inside of me, as I stood up too.

"Wow, Clare. What do _you_ think makes someone a man? Is a man someone that tries to aim below their girlfriends' waist, and when she doesn't let them score he moves to someone better? Because that's what your telling me your definition of a man is." Clare's eyes widened in surprise at the words that spat out of my mouth, and I took a moment to replay what I just said in my head. _Someone better_. Dammit.

"Congratulations, Eli. I have nothing to say to that." She said, her voice cracking. My heart dropped as I witnessed tears form in her eyes, as she nearly ran inside the building. I had half the mind to run after her, and tell her I'm sorry a thousand times, but I think the best thing to do was to give her some time.

Clare knows me. She knows I say things I don't mean when I'm angry. That was the first time she and I have _ever_ argued, but I've told her about my bad temper. I just can't believe I gave her a piece of it.

Throughout the day, I didn't pay attention in any of my classes. I thought about how sucky today has been, and how it's only going to get worse. Arguing with Clare has ruined my whole morning, and my day is destined to be hell with having to take Cristina and her friends to the mall. And to top it all off, tonight may be the first night I don't talk to Clare on the phone.

It's official: I'm a screw-up.

As the periods flew by, the bell for lunch rang. I walked outside and my eyes gazed around, and stopped when they saw Clare eating lunch alone at the table we usually sit at. I didn't know if I should sit by her, or if I should find an empty space of grass. Her eyes then met with mine, and she waved me over to where she was sitting. I hesitated for a moment, but then dragged myself to the table and sat across from her. It was silent for what felt like years, until we broke the silence in unison.

"I'm sorry." We both said, almost at the exact same time. I smirked, as she half-laughed.

"I shouldn't have ever said KC was a bigger man than you were… I have no idea what I was thinking." Clare explained her apology first.

"You shouldn't be sorry… I didn't have a right to get involved in KC's situation, anyway. I just don't like seeing you around that loser after what he did to you." Clare sighed, and I knew that I was starting to mess up an _apology_. "I'm sorry, again."

"It's ok. What he did to me was bad, but he and I are… friends, I guess. I leave bad things in the past."

"I envy that you can do that… I hold grudges like nobody you've ever seen before." I sighed. Clare nodded, understanding.

It got quiet again, until Jenna walked by and – weirdly – winked at me. I then remembered the main part of my apology.

"By the way, you're ten times better than she could ever be." I reassured her. Clare laughed, as she rolled her eyes.

"You don't even know her. There's a reason why you said she was better than me, and there's a reason why KC cheated on me with her."

"I said she was better than you because I was angry. When I'm angry, I feel like I need to say something worse than the previous statement, even if it's a lie. And I can't tell you the reason KC cheated on you with her… I still can't wrap my head around why he would do that." Clare smiled at me, and I smiled to myself. This day wasn't looking too bad afterall.

"I'm glad we didn't stay mad at each other for too long…" Clare said thankfully.

"It was long enough… I was miserable all morning." I ended with a half-laugh.

"All because of our argument?" Clare asked in disbelief.

"Well, because of that, and because I have to take Cristina and her friends to the mall today." I sighed. I was seriously not looking forward to that.

"Aw, you get to play big brother! I'd like to see that…" She said, implying at something.

"Well, would you like to come? I'd love to see how you handle those little brats." I challanged. She smiled, and then nodded her head.

"I'd love to show you the right way to handle little teenage girls." Clare said. I laughed, knowing she had no idea what she's getting herself into.

**A/N: Guess what! If I get a good response on this chapter soon, I'll update TONIGHT! The next chapter is going to contain some comedy;D PLEASEREVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 5: Preteen Girls & Jealousy

**A/N: Here's that second update I promised if I was blown away by the reviews... DamnXD **

**clareandeliforever & aleena: your comments put the most biggest, goofiest smile on my face(X thank you so much! And also thank you to the others that reviewed my last chapter=) **

**Chapter 5**

_Eli's POV._

I sat in my car with Clare outside Degrassi Middle School. It was 4:10; only 5 more minutes of happiness. Then, it's all over.

"I'm sure they're not that bad." Clare said, almost as if she were reading my thoughts.

"Oh, but they are... Just wait and see, wait and see." I said, my happiness completely fading away when the bell rang. Clare turned to me and smiled at my misery.

"Come on, Eli, at least I'm here. I'll make sure they behave. I'm sure they're actually nice girls, you just never gave them the chan-"

"EW! CRISTINA! WE'RE GOING TO THE MALL IN A DEATH CAR?" Exclaimed the voice of a preppy girl outside the car. I was contemplating flooring the car and leaving right at that moment.

Instead, as soon as one of the girls put their hand on the door handle, I locked it.

"Um, Cristina, we won't get to the mall before 5:00 if SOMEONE doesn't UNLOCK THE DOOR!" another girl screamed. I felt a smile emerge on my face.

"Eli! Open the door!" Clare nagged, laughing. I sighed, and unlocked the door.

5 girls, including my sister, flooded the back of my car. If only the girls had as much life as the last people that took place in the back of this hearse...

The car was filled with girly gossip and chatter. Things weren't so bad, until this one girl starting talking about _me_.

"So why does your brother, like, wear eye-liner? Is he, like, gay The girls laughed. I turned to look at Clare, expecting her to be laughing, but instead she looked _appalled_.

"Hey! If he was gay, he wouldn't have a girlfriend, now would he?" Clare said. Oh crap. I knew she was just defending me, but they didn't know that. Now they were going to bitch at her, too.

"Wow, it figures Eli's girlfriend would be an ugly fire head!" another girl laughed. The car filled with laughter. Clare looked _pissed_.

"Shut up bitch!" Clare yelled. The whole car gasped, including me. It then became quiet. I turned to look at Clare when we approached a stoplight, and she was smiling and looking out the window. I don't ever remember hearing her curse before, but I can't say I blame her.

I started laughing, remembering how calm and sure she was about handling these girls.

"So, Eli, is she really your girlfriend?" Melony said. She was probably the only girl, besides my sister, that wasn't _that much_ of an obnoxious brat. But then again, she had the biggest crush on me. I'm not full of myself, but she made it too obvious.

"Uh, yup." I said. Clare laughed a little, and so did I.

"Oh..." Melony replied, disappointment carrying in her voice. I felt a little bad, but she was way too young for me.

"Ha ha! Eli will never love you!" said the girl that started messing with Clare not too long ago. Her name is Amanda.

"I don't care! He'll come to his senses and be with me someday!" Melony whispered. I turned to see Clare's expression, and she was crying of holding in her laughter.

"Melony, he will never be with you. Get over it." my sister said. I smirked.

"Eli loves me... He just doesn't know it yet." she replied.

"Why do you like that freak, anyway? Do you want greasy-haired babies that wear all black?" Amanda snarled. Oh how I would give all I had to be a teenage girl for a day, just so I could bitch slap her.

"Shut up, Amanda! You _cannot_ say that he's not hot! Dear lord, I wonder what he looks like shirtless!" Melony exclaimed. All the girls, besides my sister of course, started girlishly squealing at the thought. I shuddered, and zipped up my sweater, as Clare looked amused.

I drove a little faster to the mall. I couldn't take this anymore. I was about to find the nearest cliff and drive off it. They continued to talk about me and squeal from time to time. I don't even know why Cristina was friends with these girls. She was so much better than them. I didn't understand...

We _finally_ got to the mall. I parked up front, and unlocked the doors.

"Okay! I'll pick you girls up at closing time." I said, with half the mind of blowing them off. If my sister wasn't with them, I'd leave them stranded there for days.

"Why don't you stay with us, Eli?" Melony asked. I saw Cristina roll her eyes as she exited the car first.

"Um, Clare and I have schoolwork to take care of." I said, looking to Clare and winking. She shook her head slightly and laughed, as Melony looked a little hurt.

"Sure. They're probably going to grab a parking spot and make out in the back of the hearse until closing time." Amanda scoffed.

"Were you reading my mind, Amanda?" Clare asked her. I had to use all the power in me not to burst out laughing right at that moment. Amanda's jaw dropped as she exited the car along with the rest of the girls. Finally, they were gone.

"FREEDOM!" I shouted in relief. Clare then let out all the laughter she's been holding in.

"They are awful!" She said, still laughing.

"It was way better with you here, though. You actually got them to shut up for more than two seconds."

"Well that Amanda chick called me an ugly fire head! I wasn't going to just sit here and take that!"

"I didn't expect you to just take it. But I didn't expect you to call a 13-year-old girl a bitch, either." I told her honestly. Clare smiled to herself.

"I don't usually curse, but I made an exception for that girl." we laughed, and then it was quiet for a few minutes.

"So, what are we going to do until closing time?" Clare asked.

"We can use Amanda's suggestion if you want?" I smirked. Clare rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I'm all for the finding a parking spot and hanging out in the back, but I'll pass on making out." She laughed. I nodded, and then found a parking spot. We jumped over the front seat, and Clare gasped.

"There's carpet back here?" Clare exclaimed.

"Yeah, isn't it neat?" I said. I laughed a little, remembering how horrified Clare was to just sit in the passenger seat of my car.

"This is amazing!" She said, grabbing the blanket and pillows in the corner. I kept sleeping supplies in here, for nights I just felt like sleeping in my car. She laid out pillows for us, and then covered herself using half the blanket.

"I really need a nap after those monsters." Clare said, getting comfortable. She laid so that she was on her side and facing me. I laid in the same position, so that I was facing her.

I closed my eyes, and immediately fell into a deep sleep...

...

Clare and I both shot up, hearing loud yelling outside the car. They starting _hitting_ and _kicking_ Morty!

I jumped into the front seat of the car, as did Clare, and I unlocked it. As the girls jumped in, I took the time to look at the time. It was 9:02. The mall had closed two minutes ago. They couldn't have let us sleep a little longer?

I started the car, and headed for Amanda's house first. She was always the first to be dropped off at home, as I'm sure you can imagine.

"I see you guys took my advice?" Amanda said.

"Oh yeah... We took your advice, and then took our _own_." Clare said, trying to sound sexy. She failed that attempt, and honestly sounded a little creepy. I started laughing.

"Oooooooo" the girls all said at once, besides my sister and Melony.

"So did you guys have a good time at the mall?" I asked.

"Yeah, but Cristina picked out the lamest clothes." Amanda sneered. Cristina rolled her eyes.

"I like the clothes I picked out!" She defended herself.

"Oh come on, they reveal _nothing_! You picked out a pair of jeans, and two turtle necks! No guy is going to go for you when you're wearing that." Cristina didn't reply. She only looked out the window.

"Uh, Amanda, the only reason she bought turtle necks is so she could hide that hickey _Adam_ gave her!" This one girl that hadn't spoken the whole time shouted. My jaw dropped.

"WHAT?" I roared, as we approached Amanda's house. I unlocked the door, and the car was filled with good-byes. I looked at Clare, who was almost as shocked as I was.

"El-"

"We'll talk when we get home." I said, interrupting my sister. The car was quiet until we dropped off everyone, including Clare, and were home.

"Okay, so who is this Adam guy?" I questioned her, sitting at the table. She sat across from me.

"He's just my friend. He and I didn't do anything like that, Eli. I just told the girls that because I didn't want to feel left out. They're all experienced, and I'm not. So I told them that Adam and I did "stuff" yesterday, and they believed me." She confessed. She even showed me her neck, and there was nothing.

"Okay, then why did you get those turtlenecks?" I asked.

"I like them..." she told me. I laughed. She always had a... _different_, taste in style than most people.

"Fair enough... But you should find different friends, Cristina. One day you may actually be like that." I told her. She nodded.

"They're pretty annoying, anyways... There's just not many people at my school that get me, you know?" I nodded. I understood. Then, her facial expression changed completely.

"Hey! Wait Mr.I'mSoInnocent; what were you and Clare – I mean, your girlfriend - doing in the back of the hearse?" She yelled. I started laughing.

"We were just playing with you guys. She's not my girlfriend, and all we did in the back of the hearse was sleep."

"No kissy?"

"Just sleepy." I replied. She laughed, and nodded her head.

"Okay.. well I'll see ya in the morning." she said. We hugged in the kitchen goodnight before she disappeared into our room. I checked my phone to see if Clare called me yet, and there were no missed calls.

I called her up, and there was no answer. She _always_ answers her phone. I waited half an hour, and called again. Still no answer. I began to worry. Maybe she fell asleep as soon as she got home? We were both really tired after all. I laid down in my bed, and just thought and thought... Maybe something happened?

...

I was walking down the street, my destination to Clare's house. Through the darkness, I managed to see two figures extremely close together. I walked a little faster, and hid behind the car in her driveway to get a better look. I peeked my head above the top of the car, to see Clare and KC making out on her front porch.

I don't really know what I was feeling at that moment... I don't know what I had a right to feel. I was angry that she blew off our nightly phone call to make out with the guy that cheated on her, but I don't know if that was the only reason I was angry...

I was still standing there, watching. I don't know why. Why was I still there? Maybe she'll snap out of it and come to her senses any minute now...

But a few more minutes went by, and they were still going at it. Then, I don't know what had come over me, but I walked up and tore them apart from each other. I then smacked KC in the face with a... frying pan? What?

...

I shot up from my bed, sweat layering my face. Cristina was standing over me, and sighed in relief.

"Thank God... You were going crazy." she said. I gave her a confused look.

"You were having a nightmare or something... You were yelling something about Clare and some KC guy?" Damn my sleep talking. But why was I so frazzled by that nightmare? What did it mean? Sure, it was pretty disturbing... but why would I be so angry if I saw them together?

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind as I checked my phone. 2 missed calls: Clare Edwards. 3 new messages: Clare Edwards.

_Message 1_

_Eli... It's Clare. I just called you... Twice. I still feel like_

_talking to you after the fun we had today=) please_

_call me... I'm sorry I didn't answer when you _

_called. I was taking a shower. Please _

_call me back. I don't want to end_

_our cycle!_

_Message 2_

_Eli... It's Clare again... Please call me=( I guess you don't_

_have to if you don't want to... But at least text me back_

_if you don't feel like talking tonight... I feel ignored=(_

_Message 3_

_=( _

I sighed, and looked at the clock. It was 3 in the morning, and Clare would probably be sleeping by now. I felt bad for breaking our nightly routine, but I felt worse about my nightmare.

"If you need to talk about anything, I'm here." Cristina told me. I smiled at her. She was seriously the best sister you could ask for.

"Thanks... but I don't think there's anything to talk about." I lied. She handed me a glass of water, and I sat up to drank it.

"You like her... Don't you?" She asked me. I thought about that for a moment.

"I... I honestly don't know. Clare's my only friend at Degrassi. I don't want to jeopardize that, and I don't think the feelings I have for her are more than friendly... I think she's one of the most beautiful girls at Degrassi, and she's one of the best people to talk to. But I don't think I feel for her more than a friend." I confessed. Cristina nodded, and gave me a hug before she went back to her bed to go to sleep.

I didn't lie to Cristina, but then again I don't think I was telling the whole truth. In my dream... I believe I felt... _jealousy_.

And I'm pretty sure that's one of the signs you like someone.

**A/N: =D I really liked writing this chapter! REVIEWSREVIEWSREVIEWS! And oh, side note: Adam is in the 8th grade with Cristina... ;D **


	7. Chapter 6: Fires & Shanaynay

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews you guys! (= I tried to make this chapter humorous, and I also switched up the POV's a little=D Hope you like! **

**BUT HEY: This chapter has some perverted jokes, when it comes around lunch time... If you're not into perverted jokes, skip over it. ;D**

**Chapter 6**

_Eli's POV._

"EEEEELIIII!"

I was stunned awake by the loud screaming of my sister. Was she okay? I jumped out of my bed, and practically busted the flimsy door down as I entered the kitchen, to see the stove on fire. I think quick on my feet, and grab the pitcher of water that contained flowers in it. I yank out the flowers, and dump the water onto the small fire, extinguishing it.

"Cristina! What were you thinking?" I yelled, furious. She could have burnt our trailer down!

"I..." she stopped, an embarrassing look emerging on her face.

"You what? What the hell were you thinking?"

"I... wanted pancakes." She confessed. I held in my laughter, but I couldn't help but let a chuckle escape my lips.

"You should've asked me to make you pancakes. You know you can't cook. Remember when you tried microwaving frozen hash-browns? This place smelled like smoke for the next three days!" I recalled. She laughed, as she began to fix herself a bowl of cereal.

"I'm sorry..." She mumbled.

"It's okay." I replied. I grabbed an apple out of the fridge, as I threw my book bag over my shoulder. I woke up a little later than usual, probably because I lost some sleep from _that_ nightmare last night, so I decided to skip a good breakfast.

…

While hanging by my locker, preparing for first period, I was thinking; was that nightmare last night, _really_ a nightmare? The feeling of intense jealousy felt too real to be just a dream... and I don't remember waking up. If I had a nightmare, my sister would've said something about it this morning, wouldn't have she?

It was then that I turned to see KC and Clare laughing and talking down the hall. Oh, how they made me _sick_. That was definitely _not_ a nightmare last night.

"Excuse you, you're standing in front of my locker, emo kid." Some girl with a rude tone and attitude said from behind me. I turned around to face her. She was muscular, dark-skinned, and had a blonde weave. Her large, silver hoop earrings looked as if they were going to rip her ear. I moved closer to my locker, which was right next to hers.

"Hey boy, you actually kind of cute." She said, looking me up and down. I heard the locker to the other side of me open, to see Clare, rolling her eyes to the girl's comments. _Maybe I could have fun with this._

"You're not too bad yourself." I cooed, taking a step closer. She laughed loudly, as she fixed the collar on my leather jacket.

"Ooo boy, you a smooth talker, too. You gotta name?" She smiled. At the corner of my eye, Clare was watching us like a hawk.

"Eli. And what might yours be?" I asked, my hand traveling up her arm.

"Eli... I like that name. Mine's Shanaynay. I'll see you around lunch." She said. Before walking away, she grabbed my ass. I heard Clare gasp slightly, as I grinned. This was _too_ good.

"Um... Eli, are you seriously interested in her?" Clare asked. I'm not full of myself, but I could hear jealousy dripping off of each word she said.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... She's just, kind of obnoxious. Not to mention she looked like she was about to rip your pants off any minute."

"Maybe I like that in a woman." I told her, organizing my books in my locker as we talked.

"What, woman that want to screw you the second they see you're _attractive?_" She asked, her voice getting a little louder. So she finds me attractive?_ I like. _

"She was pretty attractive herself... You know how I like the color black, Clare." I told her, with a wink. She dropped her jaw in disbelief.

"It had nothing to do with her skin color! It has to do with her wanting to screw you, obviously! Do you actually like her?" She continued to ask.

"Why wouldn't I? And why do you care so much?" I asked her. The bell rang for first period, and I left smiling while Clare stood there in confusion and jealousy. That's how I felt, last night. I was only giving her a piece of what I felt.

…

_Clare's POV._

I paid no attention to anything first period. I couldn't get the vision of that Shanaynay girl grabbing Eli's ass, and him grinning to it!

I've liked Eli for a while... As a friend, and kind of more. I thought he liked me too! I'm the only girl he's hung out with ever since he first started going to Degrassi. Where does this chick come from? Why is he suddenly interested in other girls?

I sighed. If Eli liked me, he would've asked me out. Seeing what just happened by the lockers, he's not afraid to show a girl he likes them... He was rubbing up her arm!

Who am I kidding. Why would Eli go for a girl like me? Why would any guy? I'm no pretty, peppy, cheerleader. I'm no smooth, sexy, girl that isn't afraid to grab someone's ass when they're interested.

I'm just Clare. A boring, dull, girl that will probably transform into a lonely cat lady.

_Eli's POV._

The periods went by, and I soon found myself outside for lunch. I scanned the picnic tables, to see Clare sitting at our usual table. I wasn't going to let her sit alone. I think this morning was enough for her.

I sat across from her, smiling, as I replayed the look on her face when Shanaynay grabbed my butt. _Priceless. _

"Eli, I'm sorry about the way I acted this morning... I guess I was just feeling... I don't know, out of place, I guess." She said, breaking the silence.

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I'm not usually like that around my friends." I pretended to confess. We exchanged smiles, as I took a bite of the apple I brought to school. We made small talk and were doing good, until Shanaynay joined us at our table. She sat next to me,_ closely._

"Oh my _damn_... You look sexy eating that apple, boy!" She said. I started smiling, suppressing my laughter. A little more fun never hurt anyone... Shanaynay was actually pretty cute, anyway.

"You look sexy when you're not doing anything at all." I replied seductively. She laughed loudly like she did before, while Clare started choking up on her sandwich. Shanaynay started _smacking_ her back.

"You okay girlfriend? Make sure you take time to chew your food. You obviously can't swallow big things." She began laughing at her own joke. I started hysterically laughing; both at the sick joke, _and_ at Clare's _second _priceless expression.

"Ew! I'm trying to eat here!" Clare yelled. I could barely hear her. I was _still_ laughing. My face was probably red by now.

"Trying, but not succeeding. I'm surprised at you. You and Eli seemed_ close_... I figured he had you prepared when it came to swallowing your food." She winked. Clare's jaw dropped, and I started laughing almost as loud as Shanaynay was. Clare's face grew red, and she walked away. I turned to Shanaynay, who was smiling at me.

"Trying to make your girl jealous, ay?" She asked, still smiling. I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want her to think I was using her.

"Well-"

"Nah, it's okay. No offense, but you suck at being smooth." She laughed. I smiled and nodded. I already knew that. "Well listen, it seems like I've already done enough to piss her off. She's obviously _really_ into you, Eli. Now I gotta go sit with my boy Randy. He's the man I'm _really_ interested in. Catch ya later, and tell me how things go with that girl." She said, giving me a side-hug goodbye, before she walked up to some guy. They embraced each other, and seemed to have a good thing going. I have to admit, Shanaynay was pretty cool. I'll be sure to tell her how things go with Clare... If things actually happen between Clare and I.

I was pretty positive now that Clare liked me, too. But I don't know where it would go from here... Would we jump into a relationship? I guess I'll let her decide.

As the bell rang, I confidently walked to my locker, to see Clare struggling with her books.

"Need help with that?" I asked, taking some books out of her hands. She smiled at me, but not a real smile.

"Thanks." She mumbled, taking the rest of her books out of my hands and putting them into her locker.

"Your welcome... so do you want to hang out or something after school?" I proposed.

"You sure you and your new best friend Shanaynay won't be _busy?_" She spat. I couldn't help but smile.

"Shanaynay and I were just fooling around. She's just a friend. You're my _best_ friend."

"Uh-huh..." She paused, taking a moment to think. "Whatever." She ended. She started to walk away, until I gently grabbed her by the arm, stopping her.

"What the hell? You really think you have the right to say I'm replacing you when you ditched me last night?" I said, almost yelling. She gave me a look of confusion.

"What are you talking about, Eli?" She asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't play _dumb_. I saw you last night."

"What? What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying!" I retorted. I was really getting angry at her acting like she was so innocent.

"NO I DON'T!" She yelled. Everyone in the hall looked at us. The bell rang for the period to start, but we didn't care. This wasn't over.

"I saw you with KC last night! You ditched our phone call to swap spit with him!" I shouted. She looked at me, amused.

"Uh, last night I took a shower when I got home and called you. _You_ didn't answer the call. _You_ ditched our phone call. I wouldn't even do that with KC, anyway! Where is this coming from, Eli?" She said, her voice strong.

Oh my... So it _was_ a dream.

Dammit.

"Clare... I can explain..." I started, but didn't know how to tell her. If I told her all about my nightmare, she would_ know_ I was jealous. She would _know_ that I like her.

"Well?" She asked, my pause becoming too long. I shook my head, and began to walk away.

"I gotta go." I said. I walked out of the school building. I was skipping the rest of the day. No way could I face her anymore.

_Clare's POV. _

The periods up until last period flew by. I am _so_ confused. Eli was so... weird, today. This morning and at lunch he acted like a sleaze, and then after lunch he goes off on me about something with me and KC kissing last night? I had no clue what he was talking about.

I really don't understand what's going on through that boy's head.

But I'm going to find out.

Today.

After school.

From the only other person I know that is close to him.

**A/N: Sooo, what did you think? (= REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW PLEASE! =D What will happen when – or if – Clare finds out about Eli's dream? DUNDUNDUNDUN! **


	8. Chapter 7: Trailer Parks & Dinners

**A/N: REVIEWS=D Glad you guys liked the last chapter! It was so much fun to write=) I'm SOOOO sorry for the lack of updates! Last week was exam week. Ugh, talk about mentally exhausting. I spent this four-day weekend recovering, spent yesterday working for the new semester, and spent today being sick to the stomach because I ate pizza with hot sauce AND garlic sauce. Brilliant, ay? XD**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY _LYSS_! Although it's a day late! Planned on updating yesterday for you as well as my other readers, but I had absolutely no spare time! I really appreciate your long reviews. Hope you have a good one! (= **

**IMPORTANT: If you guys want to know what Eli's dad looks like, imagine the guy that played Shawn's dad in Boy Meets World, Chet Hunter. If you never watched the show, here's a short video clip of the actor doing comedy: .com/watch?v=KlLI4syBkKk**

**Chapter 7**

_Clare's POV._

It was 4:15, and I was outside Cristina's school. She's probably the only person that can tell me what's going on with Eli. What was he talking about? KC and I haven't kissed ever since we were going out!

The bell had rang only a few seconds ago, yet children were running out of that school as if a bomb were about to explode. I smiled, knowing I was one of the few kids that enjoyed middle school, besides being picked on from time to time.

I searched through the crowds, until my eyes caught Cristina laughing with some boy. He was quite taller than she was, and was kind of cute, from what I could see.

"Cristina!" I yelled out, feeling slightly guilty for interrupting them. Both her and the boy turned, and Cristina said something to the boy as they walked over.

"Hey, Eli's girlfriend." The boy said. I shot a playful glare at Cristina, and she only laughed.

"I rather be referred to as Clare, thank you. Eli and I are just friends." I replied, lying through my teeth. I knew there was more to us. On my part, at least. I hated the feeling of this being one-sided.

"Uh-huh... Well, I'll see you later, Adam." Cristina said, giving him a hug goodbye. As they parted away from each other and he walked away, he took one last look at her before he boarded his bus. I turned to Cristina, to catch a blush leaving her face.

"So who's _that_ boy?" I asked, a smile emerging on my face. Cristina rolled her eyes with a smile as we began the walk to – where I assumed we were going – she and Eli's home.

"He's not "_that_ boy." He's just a good friend. His name is Adam, an-"

"Wait, wait, wait; isn't that the same guy you said gave you a hickey?" I interrupted her.

"No... Well, I said he did, but I was lying, I swear. Adam and I aren't like that. I only said it for my own stupid reasons." She explained, but not completely. But I respected her privacy.

"It's okay, I understand... So, has Eli been okay lately?" I asked, as we grew closer to where they lived. I was eager to see their household, and meet their mom and dad. Eli didn't speak much about their parents. I remember him mentioning he lived with his dad and sister. Maybe he didn't mention his mom lived with him because she's always working or something? That's how I feel about my dad... I barely acknowledge his existence anymore.

"He's been... alright." She said, obviously lying. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Right. Cristina, please tell me what's going on with him. I really care about your brother." I practically begged her. Cristina gave me a sigh, before answering me with what I wanted to hear; the truth.

"Eli has been off lately, because he really likes this girl, _Clarissa._" she began. My heart began to drop at the sound of Eli liking another girl... "Every time he talks of her, his face lights up. But he had a nightmare last night of her kissing another guy, _Casey_. He's been kind of off lately, but he'll be back to normal once he realizes it was just a nightmare." She explained. I sighed softly, as the sidewalk was coming to an end.

"Okay... thanks for telling me." was all I could manage to say. I felt heartbroken. That's why he was flirting with Shanaynay; to try to feel better about the _Clarissa_ nightmare.

Wait. Hold the phone. Eli was yelling at _me_ about _making out with KC last night. _

Casey... _KC_. Clarissa... _Clare_?

Wow, Cristina. Clever. I looked away so that my face wasn't visible to her, as I felt my face heat up with a smile. Eli_ really_ likes me! His face lights up when he talks about me! I would've started jumping up and down right at that moment, if Cristina wasn't there.

Cristina and I walked into what I assumed was where she and Eli lived; _Toronto Trailer Park, _a beat-up sign said above the entrance. We entered the community, and Cristina began to pick up her pace as she walked. It was getting hard to keep up with her.

"Can you slow down?" I asked.

"You don't frolic around here when it's getting late, Clare. **There are some bad people around here**." She warned me. I nodded, as we quickly made our way through numerous trailers, until we approached one that looked a little worse than the others.

"Welcome to our humble abode." She said, her hands motioning to their home. I gave it a nice look. It wasn't so bad. It was Eli's home, and whatever he had relation to was beautiful in it's own way. I chuckled, seeing Morty parked sloppily next to the house. Morty gave the home it's own personal "touch."

She opened the door, and let me walk in first. She closed the door behind her, and plopped on the sofa and started watching TV. The inside of their home was much nicer than the outside. It wasn't anything special, but it had a "homey" feel to it.

I took a seat on the couch next to Cristina, and before I could ask where Eli was, the sound of his voice yelled through the house.

"CRISTINA! YOU USED ALL THE DAMN SHAMPOO!" He yelled. We both started laughing, hearing him pound on the side of the shower.

"USE SOAP!" She retorted, and I began to laugh louder, but not so loud that Eli could hear me. He surprised me at my house after I had a shower. Now it was my turn.

A large man walked into the house, a cigarette in one hand and a big, brown bag in the other.

"CHINESE FOOD FOR DINNER!" he yelled. I really loved the way this family communicated. He rubbed the cigarette into an ashtray on the side of the table, and placed the bag on the counter.

"So how was your day Crissy?" He said, turning around. He then saw me, and a smile grew on his face.

"And who may this pretty lady be?" He asked. I smiled at the nice man, and turned introduced myself.

"I'm Clare, I'm one of Eli's friends from school."

"Nice to meet you, Clare. Eli's talked about you around here from time to time. Says you're a nice girl. You can stay for dinner if you like." He proposed. I smiled and nodded at his father, and he smiled back before taking the cartons of Chinese food out of the bag, and setting them on the table. A few seconds later, Eli walked into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist, oblivious to me being here. I peeked over the counter, to catch a glimpse of his.. whoa, _growing six-pack? _I sure knew how to pick 'em.

"Eli, would you mind being clothed for our guest? Her eyes seem to wander..." His dad said, as my face grew bloody red. Eli looked at him, confused, and then looked to the living room, to see me. His eyes widened, as he quickly walked back to his room. The room filled up with laughter, and not too short after the laughing ceased, Eli walked back into the room wearing a gray t-shirt, and black pajama pants. We all sat down at the table, Eli still confused, as they dug into their food. I usually say grace before dinner... but decided that tonight would be an exception.

"So, Clare... What are you doing here?" Eli asked, bluntly. I didn't really know what to say, but his dad saved me.

"Why can't she be here, son? Damn, didn't I teach you manners?"

"Yes... sorry, dad."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to your friend." He almost demanded. Eli looked me in the eyes, for the first time ever since he saw me, and started to speak.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk lately." He said, genuinely. I smiled at him, finishing what I was chewing before responding.

"It's okay." As we ate, Cristina and their father shared conversation. Eli and I stayed completely silent throughout the whole meal. Their dad seemed to be a really nice guy; friendly, down-to-earth, close with his kids. I really want to know what his mother is like. Maybe the next time I visit, I'll get to see her.

"Thanks for inviting me to dinner, Mr. Goldsworthy." I said, throwing my plate and plastic utensils away.

"Anytime darlin', and you can call me Chet." I gave him a sincere smile, as I was about to leave.

"Clare, could I talk to you?" Eli asked. I turned to his pleading eyes, and nodded. He stood up from the table, and threw his trash away. He opened the door of his room, and I followed him inside.

"DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID BOY!" His dad shouted, as Eli closed the door. We both laughed, as I grew nervous. I didn't know where to sit. There were only two beds, so I decided to just sit on the ground.

"You can sit on my bed, Clare. I'll sit on Cristina's." he laughed, sitting on Cristina's bed. I sat uncomfortably on Eli's bed, feeling really... awkward, I guess. The only light we had was the moonlight coming from the window. It was getting pretty late, but I didn't care. I knew this talk was coming.

"Clare... I'm really sorry for being a jerk to you at school. Last night," he paused, taking a breath, "last night, I had a nightmare about you and KC... You guys were kissing, and I was just standing there. I guess I just felt..." this is where you say jealous. This is where you admit you like me. "_replaced_. You're a great friend, Clare. You mean a lot to me, and that nightmare messed me up because the thought of you being with someone scares me. _Not because I'm jealous, or anything_, but because you wouldn't spend as much time with me anymore."

Maybe he didn't like me, after all. "It's okay, Eli." I said, developing the courage to move from his bed, to next to him on Cristina's. "You can never be replaced. It was just a dream. I'm never going to get back with KC ever again after what he did. Not to mention, our phone conversations come first before anything else." I laughed, as Eli joined me.

"Okay, good. I promise I wouldn't ever replace you either... Unless it's with Shanaynay, but you understand, right?" I gave him a glare, and he just started to laugh again. "Alright, you come before Shanaynay... and before almost everyone else in my life." He said shyly, with a small smile. I felt myself melt a little, as I looked into his green clover eyes filled with... something I couldn't explain.

Before I knew it, our heads started to move closer and closer to each other. We were so close that all I could see was his eyes. We stayed like that, staring into each others' souls, until his soft lips met mine. I felt my heart feel something I've never felt before, and my mind cleared of everything that made sense. I've kissed boys before, but this... this was different.

After time came back to existence, our lips parted from one another. We were breathing heavily, and I didn't realize until now that our arms were wrapped around each other. I felt light headed, and when I tried to stand up, I felt my legs wobble as I plopped back down next to him on the bed. He laughed, as he tucked a loose hair behind my ear.

"I'll drive you home." He smiled, his voice as soft as a whisper. I got the energy in me to stand up with him, and leave the room.

"I'm taking Clare home, dad." I said, putting a hand on the doorknob. My dad stood up from the couch, and blocked us from leaving.

"Not tonight, Eli. Our neighborhood is getting an unfriendly visit at the moment." I turned to Eli, who looked less confused than I was, but still puzzled.

"You mean..." Eli began, but couldn't find the words to finish the sentence. His dad sighed, fear being visible through his breath.

"The mob."

**A/N: DUN DUN DUN DUN! Review please! ;D **


	9. Chapter 8: Disposing Bodies & Flashbacks

**A/N: Ahhh, the weekend. Perfect time to... work on all the damn homework my teachers decided to give me. You miss one day of high school, it's like missing a year. I'll get it all done tonight, so I'll have time tomorrow to relax, catch up with my soap (General Hospital;D ) & possibly update NSN or UWB.**

**Now yesterday I came home from school, expecting one or two reviews for the last chapter, if any, and I come home to ELEVEN! =D I LOVE you guys! And long reviews! (; **

**And to those of you wondering: Yes, I'm a HUGE Boy Meets World fan=) When I first began this story, I had the idea of Shawn's dad being Eli's dad, and Eli having some Shawn qualities (living in a trailer park, trucker/gambler family, etc.) But the storyline I have planned isn't anything from Boy Meets World _or_ Degrassi ;D **

**Chapter 8**

_Eli's POV._

My heart quickened at those two words. Those two words that hid behind murder, greed, disloyalty and the list goes on.

I don't know how, but when my dad spoke of the Toronto Mob, I felt like I had some type of idea what he was talking about. I wasn't clueless at all about what they did and how it's done, yet I don't recall ever being taught about it.

"The mob?" Clare questioned, confused. I don't think she had the faintest idea about them and what they did.

"The Toronto Mob is a crime organization. Their goal in life is basically to be rich and powerful, no matter what they have to do." Her eyes widened in fear.

"Oh my goodness... Well what are they doing in your neighborhood?" Clare asked, wanting to know more, but I didn't even know the answer to that. I turned to my father, who remained looking out the window. His facial expression made me uneasy; he knew something.

"Dad... what's going on?" Cristina asked, her voice shaky. He sighed quietly, but didn't move his eyes from the window.

"This is all my fault." He mumbled, barely audible. Before I could say anything, his expression changed dramatically. He shut the curtain, and started to turn off the lights.

"Eli, take Cristina and Clare to the bathroom in your bedroom_, _NOW_._ **Lock the doors**." He said urgently. I nodded my head and did what he said to do immediately. I locked the doors from behind me, and turned off the lights like he demonstrated in the living room and kitchen.

Cristina, Clare and I were now tightly huddled on the bathroom floor. I couldn't see anything but blackness, until my eyes adjusted to the darkness after a couple of minutes.

"Eli, have you done this before?" Cristina asked, her voice sounding as if she were crying. I searched the ground for her hand, and felt the coldness of her fingers in a matter of seconds. I held onto her hand tight, and felt her pulse calm down.

"No..." I said, but not so sure. This situation felt too familiar...

Everything was quiet, until I heard a door get kicked down in the living room. My eyes closed in fear.

_**"Where's Charlotte Ann Goldsworthy?" A vicious, angry voice roared through the trailer. I heard my mother weep into my shoulder as she held me close to her chest. She rocked me back and forth on the ground of the bathroom floor, holding me as if I were a little boy. BANG BANG BANG!**_

My eyes opened wide again, this time feeling Clare's hand tighten it's grip. I noticed myself rocking back and forth, but I couldn't stop.

"What do you want?" I heard my father ask in the living room. His voice was calm, but dripped of hatred.

"We need your daugh-"

"NO!" My father yelled. My eyes closed shut again.

_**BANG BANG BANG! **_

_**My mother's cold tears fell down my cheek, as her heart pounded next to my ear. Gun shots filled the house, hitting the ceiling I assumed.**_

"_**NO!" my father cried, through his voice, I think I could hear his heart beat, too. **_

_**I heard the sound of glass shattering against the wall. **_

"_**You're not with us anymore, Chet. All we're asking for is your wife, and nobody gets hurt. I'm sure you want to continue seeing your son and daughter every day." **_

_**I heard skin and skin connect, and a loud thump, as our trailer bounced slightly. **_

"_**YOU DON'T THREATEN MY CHILDREN, OR MY WIFE! LEAVE US ALONE!" I heard my dad yell, his voice shaking this time. **_

"Charlotte is good where we have her, but I feel that her _performances_ may improve if her daughter is at her side." I heard that sick, familiar voice echo through my home once again. Tears began to roll down my cheek, as I turned to Cristina. Through the darkness I saw her shaking, terrified.

"Hide in the shower." I whispered to her. She crawled to the shower, opened the curtain as quietly and slowly as possible, and crawled in there. I closed the shower curtain for her, and then crawled to Clare. I held her tight in my arms, and rocked her back and forth just like my mother had rocked me.

I heard my father weep openly for what seemed like years, until he responded.

"You ripped my wife away from me," My dad began, his voice getting stronger through the tears. "YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY DAUGHTER AWAY TOO! GET OUT YOU SICK BASTARD!" He roared, and I heard glass break. I closed my eyes.

_**BANG! **_

_**A loud thump hit the floor, and my mother's breathing stopped, as did mine. We heard the door of the bedroom fling open, hitting the wall. We were as quiet as we possibly could be, and I could hear bed sheets being tossed around in my bedroom. My mother and I began to take quiet, shaky breaths in and out, as a shadow then blocked the light from under the door. **_

"_**I love you, Eli." Her sweet voice interlaced with fear whispered in my ear, as she planted warm kisses of love from above my ear, to the side of my lips. I couldn't get it in me to tell her I loved her too. My throat was clogged. **_

_**The door flung open, almost hitting us. **_

My eyes opened to feel soft lips on my hand. I turned to Clare, who stared at me. She wiped sweat off the side of my face with her other hand.

"Come on, Chet." I heard that asshole's voice reappear in the other room. "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." I then heard a gun click. I closed my eyes.

_**STAND UP! The man yelled, pointing a gun at my mom. She placed one last kiss on my neck, and I felt her warmth leave me as she attempted to get up. She couldn't. **_

_**I heard his gun click, and he dug the gun into the side of my head. I felt nothing. I felt surreal as my life began to crumble around me. All I could hear was my mothers' screaming as her legs gave up and she fell to the hard tile. **_

"_**GET UP!" The man yelled, his foot connecting with her side over and over again. He continued to kick her as if she were a dog. My heart tightened, as anger, fear, and all sorts of emotions started to build in me. But I knew I couldn't do anything. I had to sit and watch, with cold metal pressed against my head. **_

_**The gun left the side of my head, and he stuck it in his back pocket. He grabbed my mom by her hair, and dragged her out the door. **_

I heard grunting and wrestling, I'm guessing over the gun. I felt like I needed to get in there and help, but I couldn't move. I remained completely still.

_**"CHET!"**_

_** I heard my mother cry, as she was being dragged out of the house. **_

_**"Don't worry babe, I'll call 9-1-1 for him in the car. I promise." **_

_**My mom screamed and screamed until her voice became muffled, until I heard the front door slam closed. **_

_**I remained as still as a stone on the floor, as I still felt my mother's warm kiss on my neck. Everything was quiet. The events repeated over and over again for what felt like hours, and everything was a blur up until my sister and I sat at my father's bedside in the hospital. They explained to us he had been shot, but it was just a flesh wound and he was going to be okay. **_

"_CHET!" _

BANG!

I heard a gun go off, and everything went quiet. Everything paused. Nothing moved. Nothing was said, until my father's voice broke the pause of the world.

"Oh, Charlotte." He cried, and my heart raced. I turned to Cristina peeking out from behind the shower curtain, and Clare crying. I grabbed both of their hands and stood up. I found some kind of energy in me, adrenaline probably, as I unlocked the doors and raced through them to the living room.

I saw my father and a woman in a stripper outfit hugging each other so tight in the middle of the kitchen, as if it were the end of the world. My eyes were then caught by the dead guy on the floor, a bullet hole in the middle of his chest. Blood flew out of him like a stream.

Cristina and Clare started to hug each other, and I stood there, the past and present knotting into one whole event.

"MY BABIES!" the woman yelled, as her hands left my fathers' and then wrapped around me and my sister. I stood there confused, as did my sister and Clare. The woman loosened her grip on my sister and I, and then backed away a little. I looked deep into her eyes, and felt a sense of safeness settle into my stomach, as a smile began to spread across my face.

"I love you too, mom." I replied, as my arms held her close to my chest. My hands felt warm against her cold, bare, back. All she wore was a skimpy, glittery skirt, and a glittery bra. I blocked in my head all that she's probably been through for the past three years, and just hugged her.

"Mom?" Cristina asked, her voice shaking. My mom gave me one last smiling look, until she moved to my sister and began to hug her. My sister broke in her arms, as they held each other tight. I looked at Clare, to see her in a far-away gaze, trying to capture everything that just happened. I walked over to her, and held her body against mine. Clare wrapped her arms around me, and began to cry into my chest.

"It's over..." I whispered to her. Everything was quiet, as the Goldsworthy family reunited and I held Clare in my arms, until my dad spoke.

"I'll dispose the body."

Everybody turned to look at him, seeing the man's remains already in a big, black bag. After a few moments, we heard his car start up, and he drove away to get rid of the body to God knows where.

"So... You left us to be a stripper?" Cristina asked, her voice suddenly becoming cold. My mom and I looked at each other.

The night my mom was taken away was erased out of my memory until tonight. My father convinced my sister and I that she left us. After the flashbacks I had, I obviously knew otherwise. But Cristina had no clue. She was sleeping over at a friend's house the night everything went down.

I still had one unanswered question: Why was our family involved in the mob in the first place?

**A/N: So what'dya think? Intense, ay? **

**REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! **


	10. Chapter 9: Umbrella Trees & Frozen Stars

**A/N: Oh how your reviews make me laugh, smile, and feel all giddy inside ^_^ Sorry it's been 507694892 years since the last time I've updated! I have no other excuse than having writer's block. But as you can see, I'm out of it. =D **

**Lyss: XD, I'm sorry I took so long my love! Writer's block, writer's block. & answer to your question 1) You're not the first one to notice my mistake with the time line... When I wrote the next chapter, I had forgotten that it was the same day she met Eli, and that she couldn't have possibly written about him. Answer to question 2) I was trying to think of a "different" name for the story than others, ya know? I wanted it to sound dark, intriguing, and romanceful (yes folks, that's a word now). And honestly: I looked through a thesaurus and looked up some synonyms to words I wanted the story to be about XD "Abstract Vivacity" sounded perfect, when I was done with my brainstorming(= **

**Ok, enough of my blabber. Enjoy=)**

**Chapter 9**

_Eli's POV._

"So... You left us to be a stripper?" Cristina asked, her voice suddenly becoming cold. My mom and I looked at each other.

The night my mom was taken away was erased out of my memory until tonight. My father convinced my sister and I that she left us. After the flashbacks I had, I obviously knew otherwise. But Cristina had no clue. She was sleeping over at a friend's house the night everything went down.

I still had one unanswered question: Why was our family involved in the mob in the first place?

"I left because your father and I weren't getting along at the time." My mother lied to my sister, her voice breaking my thoughts.

"You could have just gotten a divorce. Then Eli and I would've still been able to visit you. But I guess you didn't want to see us." my sister nearly snarled at her, as she walked past us and sat on the couch. She turned on the T.V and stared blankly at it, as if nothing happened. My arms that were still holding Clare began to loosen off of her, as I walked towards my sister.

"It wasn't like that, Cristin-"

"Shut the hell up, Eli! Don't defend that _whore!_" My sister shouted. My jaw dropped, and I turned to my mom. Through her glassy eyes she stared at me, and I gave her a sympathetic look, but she just shook her head.

"You don't have to defend me, baby boy. Your sister has every right to think what she wants of me." She nearly whispered.

"But mom-"

"Elijah, please. Just let it be." my mom interrupted me. I nodded my head slowly, and then looked back at Clare. Her far-away gaze returned, and I walked back over to her.

"Clare, are you okay?" I asked her. Dammit, why did she have to come here? It's not like these type of things are usual here, but anything can happen in this trailer park.

"Y-yeah... I'm fine." She choked out. I stared deep into her eyes, which have yet to meet mine, and saw that she was anything but fine.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I asked. She nodded her head, but stayed still. I looked over my shoulder at my mom and sister, to see my sister's eyes still glued to the television, and my mom just looking at some framed photographs on the walls.

"I'm going to take Clare home, mom." I told her, in case she didn't here my short conversation with Clare.

"Just be safe, honey." I nodded, as I took Clare's hand, and slowly led her out the door to my car.

…..

When we approached Clare's house, I parked my car in her driveway, and examined her. She still stared out the window, as if we were still driving to her house.

"We're here, Clare." I acknowledged her. When I first started speaking, she flinched, as if the words just threatened to hit her. I examined her more, and noticed her entire body was shaking slightly. Was she like that this entire time?

"I can stay with you tonight, if you want me to." I proposed softly. She shook her head, and parted her lips slowly to speak.

"I'll be okay." She answered shakily, removing her seat belt. Before she could attempt to open her car door, I took her hand.

"Clare, I'm not going to leave you alone tonight. I _can't_." I said, my hand still holding hers. She slowly looked up, her eyes meeting mine for the first time ever since _the incident_, and they looked a new shade of blue.

"Okay." was her only response, as she sat there still again. I first texted my dad to tell my mom that I would be staying over night at Clare's, so that neither one of them would worry. I then got out of the car, and walked over to her side. I opened the door, and helped her out.

"Thanks." She mumbled, her eyes staring aimlessly at the ground. I walked her up to her door, and she just stood there.

"We're at your house... Do you remember how to open your door?" I asked, seriously. That probably sounded sarcastic, coming from me, but I tried to sound as serious as possible. Her breathing, which I had noticed to be a little slower than usual, stopped for a moment as she cleared her throat.

"Yeah." She said, nodding her head. She slowly reached in her pocket, and took out a key. She took a moment, but she successfully unlocked the door. When she unlocked it, she did nothing else but put the key back in her pocket. I opened the door for us, and led us inside her home quietly. It was late, and if her parents caught us sneaking in, it would add unnecessary drama we didn't need right now. I shut the door, locked it, and then slowly walked us upstairs. My eyes wandered, searching for Clare's room. Closest to the staircase, the first room on the left had a door open. The room looked like Clare's, from what I could remember, but it was hard to tell in the dark.

"Is this your room, Clare?" I asked. She looked into the room, stared for almost a whole minute, and nodded her head. I walked us in there, and sat her down on her bed. She just sat there, staring at the ground, her body shaking and her breathing slow. My heart raced lightly, worrying. What was wrong with her? Had everything that happened at my house affected her that bad?

"Do you want to talk?" I asked her, trying to help in any way that I could. She licked her dry lips and shook her head, her eyes still on the ground.

"Do you want to hear me talk?" I asked. She nodded her head quickly, as she slowly tried to move herself so that she was laying in her bed. I helped her get comfortable under her covers, and then walked around to the other side of the bed. I sat down next to her, as she laid there, staring at the ceiling. I took a couple of minutes to think of something to talk about.

"When I was five, my mom would take my sister and I to this place not too far from here. It was one of the most beautiful places you could ever imagine. The grass was short and soft, and felt good against your toes if you were running barefoot. There was a teeny, tiny pond that probably took the same amount of space as an above ground pool. The water was always crystal clear, and my mom would let me swim in it sometimes. There was only one tree, and it was a_ huge_ willow tree. I always thought it was the world's biggest umbrella," I paused, laughing. I glanced at Clare to see her eyes closed, and a smile emerging across her face. "and my mom started to call it "the umbrella tree." We used to go visit the place at night sometimes, and we would lay under that tree as she told us the same story about it over and over again. She said it protected us from rain, hail, hurricanes, and anything that would try to harm us. She said the only things that the umbrella tree would protect were good people, and the stars. And every time she mentioned the stars, she would tell my sister and I to look up, and you could see little stars glittering through the trees."

"Did you think the stars were in the trees? Like apples?" Clare asked, taking me by surprise that she was actually being attentive to what I was saying. I smiled.

"Nope... I actually thought that "stars" were actually raindrops that the tree had froze to protect us." I laughed. Clare chuckled.

"Maybe that's true." She whispered, still smiling.

"Sure." I laughed again. I looked at Clare, and soon heard her breathing get heavy; she was sleeping. I slowly lifted myself off the bed to take off my shoes. I was already in my pajamas, from when I got out of the shower at my house, so I was in luck. I quietly got comfortable in her bed, and looked at Clare, who was facing my direction as she slept. A small smile was still on her face, making me happy that I had stayed with her tonight. I gently kissed her cheek, and rested my head back on the pillow as I drifted off to sleep.

**A/N: Hm, so what's wrong with Clare? & this is short! I know! But I couldn't postpone an update any longer. Please leave reviews! You know I love 'em. =D**


	11. Chapter 10: Nightmares & Nutella

**A/N: Dude: I'm so sorry. Beat me with a wet noodle. The only excuse I have for not updating is schoolwork. =/ I no longer want to make empty promises, either. So I'm just going to say: I do NOT know when my next update for this story will be after this one. HOPEFULLY this weekend, but no promises guys. Hopefully this chapter makes you un-hate me. ;D**

**Chapter 10**

_Clare's POV._

"_Please! Let me go!" I begged the men through sobs. There were two guys holding me hostage in a dark alley-way; one holding my arms in a tight, uncomfortable grasp, and the other holding a gun to my head. _

"_If Goldsworthy doesn't show up for this shipment deal within the next five minutes, it's your life we're taking, not his." the man with the gun whispered huskily in my ear, as he slightly pressed the gun harder to my head. I whimpered softly, and felt everything get dizzy. Before I felt the need to faint, a voice broke through all my blurred thoughts and movements. _

"_Let her go, and drop your gun, __**NOW.**__" Eli yelled. He held a gun too, aiming at the man holding the gun to my head. The man that was holding me let go, and I ran to Eli. He shoved me away from him. _

"_You don't use people I love to get my attention. That's __**NOT**__ HOW THIS BUSINESS WORKS!" Eli's voice began to raise, through gritted teeth. Eli's gun clicked._

"_Don't, Eli!" I yelled at him. He briefly turned to look at me, and the man's gun clicked. _

"_STO-"_

_**BANG!**_

I shot up from my bed screaming, as I felt cold sweat trickle down the side of my face. I breathed heavily, and felt as if I were about to have a panic attack until warm arms surrounded my torso.

"Are you okay?" A deep, comforting voice asked. I nodded, finding it difficult to speak. Ever since last night, I've found it hard to say anything. It's like there's a permanent clog in my throat; the one you get when you know you're about to cry.

I began to weep openly, the thought of Eli getting shot engulfing my memory.

"Clare, it's Eli. What's wrong?" the same voice asked me. My heart quickened at the sound of his name, and I turned to see if he was really there. Sure enough, he was.

The whole thing was a nightmare.

I sighed in relief, and wrapped my arms around him tight. "Don't ever leave me." I sobbed into his chest. I felt so lost, so confused. Being with Eli was the only thing that made sense to me right now.

_Eli's POV_

"Don't ever leave me." Clare breathed into my chest through her sobs. I hugged her slightly tighter, and pressed a kiss to her head.

"I won't, I promise." I reassured her. I have no clue what's going on right now, besides the fact that Clare needs me. It's my fault that she's like this, most likely.

"What happened?" I continued to ask her. She lifted her head up slightly, so she could speak.

"I… Nightmare." She choked out, before taking deep breaths. She attempted to speak again, but I shushed her.

"You don't have to get into details… I just wanted to know what made you get so upset." I told her. She nodded, and buried her face into my chest. I held her in my arms as she cried for the next several minutes. I guess we'll skip school tomorrow, since it's now 3 in the morning.

Actually, I'm surprised her parents didn't barg in hearing her screaming.

"Clare, are your parents home?" I questioned.

"I don't think so." She muffled into my chest. She lifted her head up, to say more. "They probably got in a fight last night and left to go to separate hotels, knowing them." I felt my heart sink, hearing how predictable this was to her.

"I'm sorry, Clare. For your parents, for last ni-"

"Don't be sorry, Eli. Don't be sorry at all." She interrupted me, her glassy eyes meeting mine. "Tonight was crazy, but it wasn't your fault. Things happen, it's life." She continued. I was honestly taken aback by her acceptance of my life. Like I said before; things like that don't happen often, but it's not like it's not a possibility in the life I live in.

"You're truly amazing… You're aware of that, right?" I told her. She blushed, and sunk her head back into my chest.

"You know, I'm not going to be able to sleep at all tonight. I'm just not tired." She said, a half-smile spreading across her lips. If she were not Clare Edwards, that would definitely be the cue for sexytimes.

*sigh*

"Well… what do you want to do?" I asked her. I knew what I wanted to do, but she most definitely wouldn't approve of the activities I had in mind. Keep your dirty thoughts to yourself, Elijah.

Her blue eyes looked at the ceiling in thought, before her face lit up like a lamp.

"We should play house!" She beamed, her head lifting from my chest to smile at me.

"House?" I questioned, making sure I heard her correctly. Her smile began to fade.

"Well, if you don't want to pl-"

"No no no! I… I absolutely love playing house… I, I-uh… I play it all the time with my friends in the trailer park." Clare began to laugh, swatting my chest softly.

"Eli, you don't have to. It's obvious you think it's lame… sorry for mentioning it." She replied, an apologetic smile gracing her face. I put on a frown.

"I want to play house, but it seems like _you _don't want to." I said to her, in all seriousness. Her jaw slightly dropped.

"I do! I really do! But I know you don-"

"Save it, Clare. I get it already; you don't want to play house with me, so you're trying to turn it around acting like _I _don't want to play. Whatever." I said, rolling on my side so she couldn't see my smirk. I heard her sigh.

"Okay then, let's go to the kitchen and pl-"

"Save it! I don't want your pity game of house!" I said, using all my will power not to bust out laughing. Instead, she did that for me.

"Okay then… I'll be in the kitchen… playing house… alone." She said, a sad tone carrying in her voice through each word she said. I heard her exit the room, and within a few seconds, I laughed to myself and followed her.

"Ok, so how exactly are we going to play house?" I asked as we got to the living room, a part of me not believing I was about to play this silly game with her at three in the morning. But after all, this was Clare. I think I'd do just about anything for her.

"Alright, well… I guess we could pretend we're brother and sister? And act like we're making breakf-"

"Brother and sister? How about… I don't know… Husband and wife? Might be a little more fun." I proposed, with a wink. She rolled her eyes at me, smiling.

"I'd never marry you." She said, a smile still sticking to her face. She then left to the kitchen, and opened the fridge.

"Ouch… Ok, "sister," what are we going to make for breakfast?" I asked flatly

"I don't know, brother!" She said, enthusiastically. "Why don't we make… Hm…"

"Babies!" I shouted, making her blue orbs widen. I began to laugh hysterically.

"Um… I don't go the incest way. Not to mention, I'm seeing someone." She smiled, pondering through items in the fridge.

"Oh you are? Who might you be seeing?" I played along.

"Welll," she batted her eye lashes, "His name is _Shellijah_, Sheli for short. He's just so dreamy!" She pretended to squeal.

"Hm… What's so dreamy about this Shellijah?" I asked. Maybe she'll feed my ego a bit.

"Well, where's to start, where to start… He has beach blonde hair, dark brown eyes, nice tan… Wears white, light colors." She faked a swoon. I rolled my eyes.

"Sounds like he's… virginal." I said, pretending to be disgusted. She laughed, and closed the fridge with a Nutella jar in her hand. My heart skipped at the sight."NUTELLA!" I beamed, snatching the jar from her. I ran up the stairs, and soon after, she was running after me.

"ELI! Give that back! Now!" She yelled through laughs as she was on my tail. We ran into her room in unison, and she somehow managed to retrieve the Nutella jar.

"I won." She smugly stated with a smile.

"Well then you should get a prize." I cooed, smirking. She smirked back at me, as I stepped toward her. I leaned in, and she began to do so as well, up until our lips were about to touch. She turned her face away, and then walked away from me back to her bed.

"I don't want your pity prize." She said, as she got comfortable under her covers. I laughed, as I joined her in her bed.

"It's not a pity prize; if anything, it's something to make the loser feel better." I stated, giving her puppy dog eyes. She giggled, as our faces were only a couple inches apart from each other.

"Well if it's to make the loser feel better…" She nearly whispered, as her lips connected with mine softly. This may be cheesy to say, but I would swear that the Fourth of July was happening at that moment.

My hand rest on her hip, as my other hand stroked her cheek as our tongues danced in unison. Everything was perfect.

And we all know that something so perfect never lasts for long.

"CLARE!" A voice shouted from the door. Our mouths broke apart from one another, and my hand on her cheek could feel her heart beating erratically.

Or was it mine? I'm not sure. But I think we both know who was going to seem like the bad guy to Mama Edwards.

Damn.

**A/N: Review my lovelies! (= **


	12. Chapter 11: Drunks & Unexpected Plans

**A/N: REVIEWS! =D I seriously mean it when I say I LOVE YOU ALL. Y'all should be proud of me! It's been a week, and I'm updating again! (= I'm getting better at this updating thing! Haha. I think it's because I didn't make promises this time, so there was no pressure(; Hopefully, I'll update again sometime TOMORROW, when I'm done with my homework. But, you know... promises;D teehee. **

**Chapter 11**

_Eli's POV._

"CLARE!" A voice shouted from the door. Our mouths broke apart from one another, and my hand on her cheek could feel her heart beating erratically.

Or was it mine? I'm not sure. But I think we both knew who was going to seem like the bad guy to Mama Edwards.

Damn.

"Get _THE HELL_ away from my daughter, **NOW!**" Her voice roared. I stumbled off the bed, and stood in the middle of the room across from Mrs. Edwards, awkwardly. I looked at Clare, who looked horrified, and then at her mom, who looked as if she were mentally shooting me with an AK-47.

I then did the stupidest thing I could've possibly done at that moment;

I laughed. A long, hysterical laugh.

Why is it that I always find a sick, humorous pleasure from these Clare/Clare's Mom/Me moments? Why is it that I can't hold in my reactions during situations like these?

Why is it that I didn't see Mrs. Edwards' hand coming at me until it had already took a trip across my face?

"You son-of-aaaa-BITCH!" she slurred, stumbling slightly. Ignoring the new pain growing on the side of my face, I looked at Clare to see if she was thinking what I was.

And she was.

"Mom... Are you.. Can you please leave?" Clare asked, when she couldn't find the words in her memory to ask her the question we both want an answer to. Being the irrational variable here, I already know what it's gonna be.

"Am I what, Saint _Claarrrrreee_," She began, her slurring becoming impossible not to notice. "A b-bad wife? A horrible mother-r?" She questioned, stumbling closer to Clare. Clare fearlessly stood up from the bed, so that she and her mom were about a yard apart from each other.

"What are you saying? You're an amazing mother. I look up to you." Clare said, her voice filled with nothing but sincerity. Clare's mom let out a laugh that made my skin get goosebumps.

"If I'm such an _"amaaaazing" _mom, then w-why... why do my children end up like..." She paused, looking at the ground. Clare stood there, tears brewing in her eyes anticipating to hear what she had to say. Whatever it was, I knew it wasn't good.

"Come on, Clare. Let's get out of he-"

"End up like what?" Clare asked softly, so innocently. It sounded like a child asking if Santa Claus was real, even though they're almost completely aware that he's not.

Her mother stumbled forward to her, to where she was only inches away. She chuckled, at I don't know what, and breathed in deeply before continuing.

"Promiscuous, disgraces. _Sluts__._ Darcy was as loose as the average teenage guys' pair of jeans, and you're just plain _**eeeeaaasy.**_ Look at you; how long have you known this... b-boy here? A few months? And you're already fooling around in the _weeeeeee_ hours of the morning. Pathetic." Her mother slurred and grumbled, yet Clare and I could obtain what she was saying perfectly fine. Clare's mouth hung loose from her jaw, and tears streamed down her face. She did something that surprised me, though.

She closed her eyes momentarily, sniffed up her nose, cleared her throat, and then reopened her eyes.

"I shouldn't..." Clare paused, wiping the tears off her face and stepping even closer to her mom. "I shouldn't listen to your stupid opinions of me. _You're_ the pathetic one. And **you're** making a fool of yourself in the _"weeeee"_ hours of the morning." Clare stated fiercely, as her mom stood there, dumbfounded.

I stood a little closer to them, willing to get in between them if her mother attempted to hit her. But all she did was shake her head, and walk out of the room quietly. A few seconds later, we heard her bedroom door close.

"Clare, she d-"

"Eli, I already told you that I know what I am and what I'm not. I know what I was doing with you, and what I wasn't. It would be stupid of me to believe the opinion of someone who was obviously drunk." Clare said, her voice strong. I smirked, in adoration.

"She still had no right to talk to you like that." I said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. She joined me, before speaking.

"It's not like she always talks to me like that... She's my mom, the woman that gave birth to me, and she's the same woman who raised and cared for me all my life. So what; she got drunk one night, and said some hateful things. I said some hateful things too, you know."

"So you're not mad at her?" I asked.

"I'm a little unsettled from what just happened, but I forgave her from the moment she walked out the door." She replied, smiling. I smiled genuinely at her. _Amazed._

"I envy that you could forgive someone like that so easily." I confessed. I never liked the fact that I held grudges, but it seemed like something that was out of my control.

"Forgiveness let's you move on. It's just in my human nature to. For some people it's not, but if they practiced, they could forgive just as easily as I could." She told me. I nodded to her, secretly admiring her.

"I think I'll stick to my grudge-holding ways. It's my human nature." I told her, smirking, and covering up my admiration. She smiled and nodded.

"That's okay with me, as long as you don't hold anything over my head." She told me.

"I wouldn't be able to." I confessed. I knew that Clare could probably do anything to me, up to crashing Morty into a pole, and I would probably be able to find it in myself to forgive her.

Clare smiled, and gently kissed my lips briefly, before parting away and getting back under the covers.

"We need sleep if we're going to go on a picnic tomorrow." She said, pulling me into the bed. I laughed, as I got comfortable.

"Picnic? When did we plan this?" I questioned, having absolutely no memory of that conversation.

"Well, we've never gone out on a date, and I figured now that we're..." She paused, confusion emerging on her face. "What are we, exactly?" She asked me, embarrassment traveling in her voice.

"Well... Shanaynay would disapprove of me calling you my girlfriend, so-" she interrupted me, swatting my chest a little harder than playfully.

"Ouch! Okay, I _guess_ I could call you my girlfriend. But on one condition." I cooed, as she raised her eyebrows. "You have to call me, your boyfriend." I said. She laughed into her pillow, and then looked back up at me. "You're so lame!" She stated, before cuddling into my arms. "But if anyone asks; you're my boyfriend." She almost whispered. She kissed my nose – which I found to be the cutest thing... don't judge me – before getting comfortable with Clare. I drifted asleep quickly, the scent of her tranquilizing me.

**A/N: Eh, short, I know! More interesting stuff will happen in the next one;)**

**& hey: I'm thinking about making individual replies in the A/N in the beginning of each chapter to the people who review my stories=) It doesn't feel like enough, simply stating how much I love you all and thanking you for reviewing. I want to give each of you a reply to your review from now on, so don't forget to review, yo! =D**


	13. MUST READ

**Please don't hate me...**

**But... **

**I have to end this story...**

**JUST KIDDING YALL=) This story ain't over. Lol, but really, don't hate me for this being just an author's note...**

**I just felt like I needed to communicate with you guys, especially after tonight's episode=( Goodness, I've been crying on-and-off for hours now. I'm so angry that Clare just ABANDONED Eli when he needed her the most, and not only that, but I guess her good-hearted, caring, soul led her to the fucking dance. Because she felt like fucking dancing after breaking the heart of someone she said she LOVED. Someone she promised she would always be there for. JFDSFJLK;DSJAGRRRRRRAAAAHHHH! **

**Please don't hate me or stop reading my stories because of the way I feel right now... I loved EClare, and I always will. & I will always have faith in them. I hope you all do, too. **

**Now with my stories: I think I'm done with Until We Bleed... It was just a temporary idea in my head, lmao. It's not like there were characters you actually cared for in there, anyway; Fitz and an OC. Your hearts won't be ripped too much, I hope... **

**Never Say Never: I'm going to continue it, but I'm just in a major brain-fart right now. I can't think of anything. IF YOU CAN HELP ME, PLEASE MESSAGE ME WITH IDEAS! **

**Abstract Vivacity: Expect and update SOON. Maybe not tonight, but definitely _SOON_. (= **

**And I'm also working on a new story, LMAO. The first chapter is already written, just not uploaded. I think I want to write the entire story, first, and THEN start uploading chapters in an organized fashion. Or at least write some of the first chapters before I start posting it... sound good? If you want a preview, here's the summary for it:**

"_Elijah Goldsworthy; from the young age of seven-years-old, is already going through an experience that will haunt him forever. Someone who he will always see as a monster, he must refer to as a person that he should look up to.  
Clare Edwards; six-years-old, and her life is what a stranger would call perfect. She becomes the tadpole of light swimming in Elijah's lake of darkness. Could trying to help a friend through the years cost her life in the end?"_

**=) I love you all so much. Please leave feedback on your thoughts of tonight's episode, what you think of this story, how has your week been, and/or if you are excited for the upcoming story! **


	14. Chapter 12: Pajama Picnics & Mud Fights

**A/N: Yup, I'm updating! In my author's note I said I would update soon, and "soon" is now=D Fluffy chapter. You'll be satisfied. LEAVE REVIEWS!**

**Chapter 12**

_Eli's POV._

Light streamed from spaces in between the blinds, dancing on the thin skin covering my eyes. I slowly opened them to become aware of my surroundings; Purple-ish walls. Big window. Me laying in a comfy bed, holding a beautiful woman in my arms.

I laughed to myself, happiness taking over my emotions, as I snuggled my face into her hair involuntarily.

Mmmmm. Strawberries.

But the curls containing the strawberry scent soon moved, to where an angelic face took their place of my view.

Clare had something written on her face... fear, maybe? I gently shook her, and she gasped softly as she jolted up, almost hitting my head with hers, before calming down. I eyed her worriedly, and she laughed.

"Did you have another nightmare?" I asked. Her eyes looked the other way, and then back to me.

"No, I... I just had that "falling from the sky" feeling... I get those sometimes." She said. A part of me didn't believe her, but I decided to let it go.

"Well... In that case; good morning, sunshine." I whispered huskily, smiling down at her. She giggled softly, running her thumb across my cheek.

"Mm... morning." She mumbled. I chuckled, as she slowly closed her eyes and began to drift off again. A few seconds later, her eyes opened wide and she practically jumped out of the bed; scaring probably 10 years out of me.

"What?" I yelled, frightened by her sudden outburst.

"Our picnic! Come on, we have to get out of here! Every minute we waste is a minute less of daylight!" She exclaimed, putting shoes on. She was wearing the same outfit she wore to my house last night, and she didn't bother to change.

"You're not going to shower or anything?" I asked, still in bed. She was about to answer, until she gave me an appalled face.

"Eli! Get up! You're wasting time! And showers are for people trying to impress those around them." She said, jumping on the bed; her knees almost making a painful landing on my stomach.

"Showers are for people that want to feel fresh, clean, replen-"

"**Shut up** and **get up.**" She demanded, getting up from the bed to continue tying her shoes. I groaned, getting up.

"Well what about me? I'm not going to a picnic in my pajamas." I stated. She rolled her eyes.

"Who cares if you're in your pajamas? It's not like we're going to a fancy restaurant. And even if we were, it still wouldn't matter!" She said, as I tried not to laugh at her. She really didn't care what people thought.

"Ok, whatever you say." I replied, slipping my shoes on. She smiled, and led the way down stairs to the kitchen. Surprising me, she pulled a basket of food out of her fridge.

"When did you do this?" I questioned.

"Last night... I woke up again – not because of a nightmare – and decided to pack up for our picnic so we would be all ready and set to go." She replied happily. I laughed at her eagerness for this.

"Why do you want to go on a picnic so bad?" I asked, curiously. Her face began to run through shades of pink, as she darted her eyes at the ground.

"Well... This is going to come off as really cheesy, so promise me you won't laugh." She asked, in all seriousness. I nodded. She sighed, continuing.

"Ok... When I was little, I used to have all these dreams about going out on a perfect picnic date. There were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, HI-C juice boxes, sunshine, and happy bunnies bounc-" before she could even finish, I couldn't contain my laughter. The moment I heard bunnies, I knew I couldn't hold it in any longer. I was laughing so hard, I couldn't even see the look on her face.

"You promised you wouldn't laugh!" She yelled.

"I... I'm sor..." I couldn't even make out an apology, I was laughing so much. She began to get mad, and through my tears of laughter I saw her walk out kitchen, and then out the door. I took a second to calm down, and I followed her. When I caught up to her, she looked embarrassed.

"Come on, Clare. You expect me not to laugh at a perfect picnic bunny dream?" I told her. She kept a straight face looking forward, as we walked down the street.

"It doesn't feel good to be laughed at." She replied.

"What happened to not caring about what people thought?" I asked. There was a short pause, and she chuckled.

"I care what you think." She confessed, slowing her walking down until it was a complete stop. I looked around – taking my eyes off her for the first time since we left her house – and I noticed we were already at a park.

"And I don't want you thinking I'm some lovey-dovey idiot; because I'm not." She said, looking into my eyes as if she were searching for something.

"I don't. Clare, I don't think you're some lovey-dovey idiot... I only think you had interesting dreams as a child." I told her, making her laugh – a real laugh. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me, and I did the same. It was a little random, but I wasn't going to complain.

"So what did you pack us?" I asked, as we walked toward a small tree. She took a red and white, plaid blanket out from the basket, and laid it out under the tree. We sat down next to each other, Clare's back leaning against the tree, as she began to remove items from the basket.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches... and HI-C juice." She laughed, handing me a sandwich and a juice box. I laughed lightly at the "coincidence."

We started eating our sandwiches, until I almost choked when I saw a bunny bounce in front of us.

"CLARE!" I shouted, getting her attention. She was looking at the sky, and then looked at the bunny that I was pointing at. Her jaw dropped, and a look of happiness glowed her face like I had never seen before.

"ELI! It's a bunny! A happy, bouncing bu-"

"Bitch! Get your hoppin' ass back over here!" We heard a strong, familiar voice call from behind us. We turned to see Shanaynay, holding a body-collar that looked just fit for that bunny.

"Uh, Shanaynay? You own a bunny?" I asked, as she turned to see me. She looked to me, and smiled.

"Eli! How you been, boy? And yes, this be Fluff-Fluff, my rabbit." She said, picking up the bunny by the skin on its back and showing him to us. Clare gasped at the way she picked it up, and I had to hold in any laughter I wanted to let out.

"Ooo girl, don't get a heart attack now, Fluff-Fluff likes it when I hold him like this." Shanaynay laughed, as she wrapped the collar around the bunny's body and set him on the ground.

"O- Oh... Ok." Clare stuttered, looking away from the rabbit.

"Well, what brings you two love birds to the park? I would say love bunnies; but it don't seem like y'all do much "bouncing around" yet." She said, winking. Oh Shanaynay, how you never fail to make things awkward. Clare started choking on her food, and Shanaynay laughed.

"Oooo girl, choking up on your food again? He still hasn't taught you to swallow?" She laughed, loudly. I remember when she made Clare choke on her food at the lunch table, and she replied with a similar "swallowing" remark. Never gets old.

"We're getting there." I whispered loudly to Shanaynay, as Clare glared at me through her coughs. I patted and rubbed her back gently, trying to ease the choking.

"Well good, I told you to keep me updated on you two. Don't be afraid to give details; well, when you have details to give. I'll see you around homeboy!" She smiled and laughed, as she walked away; dragging that poor bunny.

"Things are always... interesting, when she's around." Clare laughed, her choking fit finally over. I laughed, and was going to say something until I felt it begin to sprinkle lightly.

"Do you feel that?" I asked Clare. She looked terrified.

"No! No, it can't rain!" She yelled. It was almost unbelievable how fast it went from sprinkling, to pouring. It was pouring **hard.**

Clare and I stood up, and Clare looked around at what was left of our picnic; soggy sandwiches, beaten juice boxes, and a blanket becoming drenched.

"Dammit!" Clare cursed, looking around. I have to admit; I felt a little bad that Clare's dream of a perfect picnic was destroyed, so I decided that I should try to make the most of the damage done and make a good memory out of it.

I grabbed Clare's hand, and began to skip through the grass; I thought it would lighten the mood, skipping through the rain. But I should've warned her first.

If I had warned her that we were going to skip in the rain, maybe she would've watched out for puddles of mud.

That's right. To top off the abused bunny and rain, Clare slipped in a puddle of mud, and fell on the ground. I stopped immediately, and fell to my knees beside her.

"Clare! Are you okay?" I almost had to yell over the rain. She looked up from the ground, her face unscathed, and I could see her bright smile through the rain. Her clothes and hands all muddy, she tackled me to the ground with a huge, muddy hug.

Maybe it was a good thing I didn't get dressed up this morning.

For what felt like the next couple hours, Clare and I played in the mud and rain. There was no thunder or lightning; just harsh rain, and a **lot **of mud.

After Clare won our last mud fight (I think we created a new game), we danced in the rain a little bit to rinse ourselves of the mud. We danced aimlessly around the park, and at one point we ran into each other. I grabbed her hands to prevent both of us from falling, and our eyes connected. My eyes darted from her eyes to her lips, and I began to lean in. When our lips were centimeters away, she moved her head away, and looked at the ground. I felt my heart drop.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Clare bit her lip, and looked back up at me.

"Can we go back to my house?" she asked me. I agreed of course, and we walked silently back to her house through the rain.

It surprisingly wasn't awkward during the walk home... There was a peaceful silence. But when we got inside her house, that's when the **awkward** silence began.

"So... do you have any towels nearby?" I asked, the both of us dripping. She tip-toed to the closet in the living room, trying not to get everything wet, and threw me a towel. She took a towel for herself, and walked back over to me. I dried off my hair first, and then the rest of my body. I wrapped the towel around my waist, as Clare wrapped it around her upper body. I could see her shivering frantically, and wrapped her in my arms, pressing her body against mine to keep her warm. Her shivers calmed down, and she began to breathe peacefully against my chest.

The awkwardness in the room was gone, and I walked us over to the couch. I took my towel and laid it down on the couch, and then laid Clare down onto it. I was going to find some blankets for her, but she pulled me on top of her.

"You're better than a blanket." She smiled, wrapping her arms around my back. My head was at her shoulder, and the couch wasn't big enough for me to lay beside her.

"Are you sure I'm not squishing you?" I asked.

"No... I like feeling close to you." She whispered, almost sorrowfully. I rested my head at the space between her neck and her shoulder, and I managed to wrap my hands around her back, between her back and the couch.

We laid against each other, tired from the rain. I'll ask her about that almost-rain-kiss later; right now, I just wanted to rest.

Okay, this is where someone walks in. This is where something bad happens that disrupts our happy, peaceful moment.

I wait for it... And I wait...

And, nothing. Clare and I, drenched from the rain, resting on her couch, with only the dark blue lighting of the storm entering through the window to keep us company.

It was perfect... And nothing was going wrong.

I waited a little more.

Wow... Well, I guess I succeeded in being able to turn a ruined dream to a blissful memory.

**A/N: Wtf? Why didn't Papa Edwards walk in or something? Well, because I wanted something fluffy before the drama comes rolling in. Next chapter is starting from Clare's POV. Be prepared. =)**

**Oh: & if you have trouble remembering the past Shanaynay stuff, see Chapter 6. It's pretty funny, if I do say so myself^_^  
**

**PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE _LEAVE REVIEWS!_ 3**


	15. Chapter 13: Sex Talk & Comfort Levels

**A/N: =D I was so glad to see y'all were satisfied with the last chapter(= The long reviews made me laugh and put a huge smile on my face, and the small ones made me smile. I really enjoyed writing it! Here's another chapter, and I might update NSN sometime tomorrow before school starts up again... ugh. School. DX **

**Chapter 13**

_Clare's POV._

My fragile fingers ran through the soft hair blanketing Eli's scalp, distracting me from sleeping. Although his soft snoring was soothing, I knew I couldn't go back to sleep. Last night, I had three nightmares; and each one was exactly the same.

I'm held at gun-point in a dark alley-way. Eli comes and saves me. I distract him briefly, and he gets shot.

Most people can't remember their dreams, but this one I can replay in my head like the ABC's. I'm terrified of sleeping now. I'm afraid one day I won't wake up, and Eli will really be gone.

I can't live without him. He's not just my boyfriend; he's my best friend. And I'm beginning to care more for him than myself.

I sighed, and Eli's head began to lift from my shoulder.

"Clare? You awake?" He softly whispered, his eyes still closed, and his head now resting on my upper chest.

"Yeah, I just woke up." I lied, kissing the top of his head. He smiled, and opened his eyes to look at me.

"Why didn't you kiss me today?" He asked, his voice still soft.

"Because... When you and Shanaynay were talking and making fun of me choking, I felt jealous... And even after all the fun we had in the rain, I just didn't feel like kissing you at the moment." Will he buy it?

"Oh, Clare," Eli sighed, moving his body up slightly so that his face was closer to mine. "You know Shanaynay is just a friend. And I'm only interested in you." He smiled, giving me a peck on the lips. I smiled back at him, although my heart was frowning at myself for lying to him.

It's not that I didn't want to kiss Eli; I did. I** really **did. I felt so happy at that moment, but then I remembered Eli getting shot because of me in my nightmare.

And, well; I didn't feel real "kissy kissy" anymore.

We both looked at the clock at the same time, to see that it was almost 9.

"I hate to leave... but I should be heading home, we have school tomorrow." Eli said, getting up from the couch and slipping his shoes on. I quickly got up from the couch, and starting slipping my shoes on, too.

"Could I... possibly spend the night? I know you're probably tired of me, but-"

"It's fine Clare, my dad will probably be fine with it. But are you sure you're alright with going back to the trailer park after everything that happened?" He asked, looking out for me like always.

"I'm positive." I smiled, this time from my heart, too. I didn't want to be away from him for a second. I took his hand and ran with him upstairs to my room, so that he could help me pack. I took a duffel bag from my closet, and laid it on my bed. Eli went to my bathroom, and threw my toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouth wash into the bag.

"Are you trying to hint at something, Eli?" I asked, throwing clothes for tomorrow in my bag.

"I just want your breath to stay minty fresh." He chimed, taking a seat on my bed. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled, as I unplugged my hair curler from my bathroom and threw it into my bag, too. I threw my school book bag in there, along with my small make-up bag.

"I think that's everything" I said, zipping up the bag and throwing it over my shoulder. We walked downstairs, and as he opened the front door, I grabbed my house keys from the kitchen and locked the door behind us as we left. We walked over to Morty, and before Eli unlocked the car, he stopped.

"Wait, when did you ask your mom if you could sleepover?" He asked, what I was hoping he would forget.

"I texted her while you were sleeping... She's cool with it." I lied, a fourth time to him. Once about having more nightmares, once about sleeping, once about the kiss, and now about asking for my mom's approval if I could stay the night over at my boyfriend's trailer. I'm not going to make lying to Eli a habit... It's just that white lies never hurt anybody, right?

He nodded his head, and unlocked Morty. We got in, and made small conversation on the way to his home.

...

Eli let us into his trailer, and we walked in to see his mom and dad laughing at the TV. Eli closed the door behind us, and we stood there for a few minutes; Eli watching the TV, as I analyzed his mom and dad. His dad held his mom in his arms tightly, yet comfortably, and looked more at her than he did the TV. I smiled sweetly to myself, as I tugged on Eli's hand for us to go to his room.

"Hey, it's alright if Clare spends the night, right?" Eli stated more than asked, as he led us to his room.

"Yes."

"No."

His parents said at the same time. They looked at each other, as did we.

"The boy just slept over at her house! Whats another sleepover gonna hurt anybody?" His dad spoke, pausing the TV.

"He stayed over to keep her company after what happened last night. Nothing was gonna happen with her being so distraught over everything, but there are different circumstances now, Chet. I know I just became the mother of a teenage boy yesterday, but that doesn't mean I was born then too. I know just what goes on in that dirty mind of his, and no way in hell am I letting him have some pretty girl spend the night when-"

"Mrs. Goldsworthy... I wear an abstinence ring." I said, showing her my finger. She looked surprised, and then smiled widely.

"Well, back in my day we didn't have many of you wise girls!" She said, hugging me. I laughed, and hugged her back. I guess I'm a "wise girl"?

"Eli, Eli, Eli... What in heavens name is wrong with you?" His dad mumbled, eying my ring as if it were the devil.

"Dad-"

"No, son... For generations, the men in this family have been... well, _**men**_. I can't remember one man in this family being with a girl who didn't do the dirty until after marriage!" He almost yelled, as Eli's mom started laughing.

"Well, I'm glad my boy could be the first **real** man in this family." She said with a wink, before playing the TV. His dad sighed, shaking his head, as he paid his divided attention to his wife, and TV.

"So... Can she stay?" Eli asked again.

"No."  
"Yes."

This time, the "No" coming from Eli's dad. His mom swatted his arm, and he shook his head yet again.

"I'll take that as a yes..." Eli said, leading us into his room. He closed the door behind us, and turned on his light.

"Your dad must really love me." I scoffed, dropping my bag on the ground taking a seat on Eli's bed. Eli laughed, sitting down next to me.

"Well, he's just not into virgins... But that doesn't mean his son isn't." He cooed, pressing his lips to mine gently.

"Get a room!" His sister yelled, throwing her pillow at us. I didn't even notice she was here...

"This was my room first... Can you sleep on the couch tonight?" He almost begged, as Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Don't tell me you guys are gonna have sex or something. This trailer shakes easily." She said, sounding disgusted. I showed her my abstinence ring, and she looked closer at it. Then, she started laughing.

"Wow, Eli. A virgin. Score for you! Or no score, I should say." She laughed more, leaving the room.

"Well... I guess we have the room to ourselves now!" Eli said, throwing Cristina's pillow back onto her bed. He was about to kiss me, until I moved my head away.

"Does it bother you?" I asked, slightly moving away from him.

"Does what?" He asked, ignorantly.

"Us... that we're not going to have sex or anything... Tonight, or any night, unless we were to get married." I replied, fearing his answer.

"Nope... It's not part of the list of reasons I'm with you." He smiled, scooting next to me.

"You have a list of reasons why you're with me?" I asked, giggling softly.

"Yup. I'll tell you them one day, I'm still making the list." He smiled, kissing my cheek. I returned his smile, and rested my head on his shoulder.

"You never did tell me if you've had sex." I said, remembering the day in Mrs. Dawes' class we had to ask each other questions.

"I told you I never had a girlfriend."

"And you also told me "you don't have to be in a relationship to have sex."" I replied. He sighed.

"Okay... I did it with this one chick a few times... but then we lost touch-"

"Who?" I asked, surprised that he never told me.

"Well... She was pretty damn good in the sack..." He laughed, making my skin crawl in repulsion.

"Her name's Shanaynay, an-" I hit his arm, and got up from his bed and moved to Cristina's. He started laughing hysterically.

"Clare, I swear I'm still a virgin. It's just fun to mess with you sometimes." He calmed his laughing, looking into my eyes. I felt a sense of relief, and smiled.

"So what is the furthest you've ever gone with a girl?" I asked, curiously. I feared his answer again, from the shy look on his face.

"Kissing you..." He mumbled, almost to where I couldn't hear him. My jaw dropped.

"I was your first kiss? Are you kidding me?" I asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Well like I've told you before; it's not like girls wanted anything to do with me, because of where I come from and how my family is." He confessed. I gave him a sad smile, and moved back to his bed and sat next to him.

"Well I'm just glad they missed out." I smiled, kissing his nose. He chuckled, and looked from the floor to the clock. It was almost 10:30.

"We should start getting ready to go to bed." He said, getting up. I got up too, and opened my duffel bag to find that I forgot to pack pajamas. I nervously bit my lip, and turned around to see Eli looking at some papers on his desk.

"Would you mind if I wear one of your shirts tonight?"

Eli smiled, and walked over to his dresser. He pulled out a black T-shirt, and handed it to me. I smiled, and walked to the bathroom with my toothbrush and toothpaste, and his shirt. I first brushed my teeth, and then changed out of my clothes. I slid his t-shirt over my head, as it loosely fell down to wear it barely covered my underwear. I sighed, wishing I had brought pants. I exited his bathroom slowly, uncomfortably running across the room to turn off his light, as he lied in his bed chuckling.

"Scared of the light?" He scoffed, as I avoided eye contact. He already layed out a couple of extra blankets for me on his bed, but I ignored them. I didn't want to be near him with my chubby legs. I walked over to Cristina's bed, and began to unmake it.

"Uh, do you want to be on my sister's hit list?" He asked, sitting up. I cursed to myself, regretting that I got his undivided attention, and turned to face him. He gave me a worried look.

"What's wrong, Clare?" He asked, sweetly. As if he didn't even notice my legs.

"I don't feel comfortable." I said, hinting at the problem by pulling at the bottom of his shirt. He sighed, and moved so that he was sitting on the side of his bed. He stuck his hand out, and I took it, as he gently pulled me to where I was standing above him. I felt a thousand times more uncomfortable, but I bit my lip to control myself from just walking into the bathroom and sleeping in the tub.

"You're beautiful. And you have no reason to feel self-conscious, especially around me." He said, wrapping his arms around my waist. My comfort level was increasing, along with my heart rate. I smiled, as he pulled me on top of him on the bed. I giggled, resting my head on his chest, and intertwining my legs with his.

"You mean so much to me." I confessed, wrapping my arms around his torso. He kissed my head softly in reply, and soon began to snore softly. I began to drift off to sleep... Forgetting about my nightmare that would soon come to haunt me.

**A/N:** **Yeah, I wrote more fluff... Sue me=P But there WILL be drama in the next chapter!  
Lets just say... Clare won't ever want to sleep in school again. (; **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**


	16. Chapter 14: Breakfasts & Absent Goodbyes

**A/N: I haven't updated in sooo long=( I'm so sorry... school was taking over my life. But hey, guess what?  
ITS SUMMER! THANK JESUS! =D! I'll be updating a lot! & be on the lookout for a new story... It'll probably be up sometime later this summer, depending how much I want to write of it before I start posting chapters. & I hope you guys haven't forgotten or given up on this story... things are just getting started ;)  
Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! I'm glad you're liking Eli's parents=) & please ignore what I said at the end of the last chapter, about Clare having a nightmare in class. I changed in my head what I wanted to happen... & There will be an interesting twist in this story, coming soon... actually... Starting in this chapter. =O! Better get to reading!  
& just a reminder: I love you all. (=  
**

**Chapter 14**

_Clare's POV._

"_You don't use people I love to get my attention. That's __**NOT**_ _HOW THIS BUSINESS WORKS!" Eli's voice began to roar, through gritted teeth. Eli's gun clicked, steadily aiming at his... enemy? A gang member, enemy?_

"_Don't, Eli!" I yelled at him. The man's gun clicked in unison with Eli's head turning to me. _

"_STO-"_

_**BANG!**_

My upper body bolted up in sweat, my sobs waking Eli in less than a second.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked worriedly, his eyes scanning me in horror. He then moved his hand to my cheek, sweeping a mixture of tears and sweat off my face.

"I..." before I could attempt to come up with a lie, sobs escaped my lips without control. I was soon wrapped in Eli's arms, his heartbeat calming me down.

"We need to take you to some kind of doctor about this..." He whispered, my heartbeat starting up again.

"N-No... They'll think I'm crazy... I'll be fine, I-I can't have nightmares forever." I assured him, my voice shaky. He looked up at the clock, and then looked back at me.

"It's almost noon... And it's Sunday. There has to be some place open to take you to-"

"I'm fine, Eli. Your freak of a girlfriend will be just fine." I interrupted him, unintended coldness lingering through my words. Eli sighed, and kissed my cheek softly.

"Clare, if you're saying that having nightmares makes you a freak, you're implying that every child is one too. And I find that just plain mean." Eli scoffed, making me giggle softly. He always knew what to say to lighten the mood. I responded by nuzzling my face into the space between his neck and shoulder, breathing in his morning scent.

"And if you're saying I need to see a doctor because I'm having nightmares, that makes you over-dramatic." I replied, making him chuckle.

"I'm sorry... I've just been worrying about you lately. What happened was a lot to take in for you." He whispered, kissing my head tenderly. I savored the moment before asking a question.

"If you're having no problem getting through it, then why am I?" Eli's been relatively calm about everything, ever since the mob paid his family a visit. How come I can't stop having this nightmare?

"It wasn't my first time experiencing real violence... I've already gone through the nightmares and tears of it. You, from what I know of, have never had to deal with so much violence happening in your life at once." He answered. I nodded in understanding, and started to get up from his bed.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Seeing what your family made for breakfast." I smiled, leaving his room. I heard Eli get up from the bed behind me, as I entered the kitchen to see nobody.

"Everybody usually goes out and does something on Sundays." He said, shutting his bedroom door behind us.

"Oh... So do you want to go out and get breakfast or something?" I proposed, wanting to make the most of the end of this weekend. Eli smiled, warming my heart from the inside out, and grabbed the car keys off the counter.

"My lady." He said, opening the front door for me.

"Thank you, kind sir." I replied, as we left to wherever Eli planned to take us.

.*.*.*.

_Eli's POV._

My hearse took place of an empty parking spot at "Sweetbay Supermarket," as Clare eyed me with confusion.

"I thought we were just going to pick something up from The Dot?" Clare asked.

"Where's the fun in that?" I asked, a curious smile forming on Clare's face. We exited the car at once, and started to approach the store.

"I have about $20 on me, so I say we buy a few items here and there and make ourselves a better breakfast than The Dot could ever provide us." I shared my idea, and she smiled.

"Sounds like a plan to me."

We entered Sweetbay, and walked around the store aimlessly. I started to lead us towards the eggs, when Clare yanked my arm into the sweets aisle.

"Who says we have to eat eggs for breakfast? Why not a big bowl of chocolate... Aha! chocolate!" Clare enthused, more excited about this breakfast trip than me, shockingly. I was slightly confused, and I guess it showed. She rolled her eyes happily, and dragged me and the cart behind her.

"Put two bags of oreos in the cart." She demanded, seeing that they were on the highest shelf. I wasn't that much taller than Clare, but a couple inches makes quite a difference in the grocery store. I shrugged my shoulders, and obeyed. By the time I had put the bags of oreos in the cart, Clare had already added two Hershey's chocolate topping bottles and a container of marshmallow "Fluff". All of these items were delicious, yes, but what did she plan to do with them?

"We're going to mix all this up, and make a chocolatey, oreo-y, marshmallow-y pudding." She said, as if she read my mind.

"The first word that comes to mind is "throw up."" I said. She laughed quietly, as she lead the way to the check-out counter.

"$14.89" The woman said, after scanning our items. I handed her the $20, and she handed my change back to me. Clare and I picked up the bags, and exited the grocery store back to the car. The short drive home was quiet, in a pleasant way. Just sitting there, enjoying the company of one another.

When we arrived back at my trailer, we came back to, still, nobody home. I ignored any paranoia coming up in my brain, and set the items on the counter.

"Okay, so how do you want to do this?" I asked, though Clare already started taking out a large bowl and a big spoon.

"You crush the oreos and start dumping them into the bowl, and I'll start adding in the Fluff." She ordered. I first washed my hands quickly, and started to crumble the cookies with my hands, throwing them into the bowl 4-5 crushed oreos at a time. Clare was scooping chunks of Fluff with a spoon, dumping that into the bowl. It was actually looking pretty good, so far. When we finished dumping those contents into the bowl, Clare started to mix everything together with a big spoon, as I started to squirt both Hershey's chocolate topping bottles into the bowl.

The finished product looked... delicious, to say the least. It was exactly what she described it would be; chocolatey, marshmallow-y, oreo-y, pudding.

Smiling at our creation, I got out two small bowls, and set them on the table. Clare followed me, setting the big bowl of pudding in the center of the table.

"I have to say... This will be the most interesting breakfast I've ever had." Clare said, smiling as she placed four scoops of pudding in her bowl.

"Same here... I don't think I've ever eaten chocolate for breakfast before." I replied, placing four scoops in my bowl, too. We took the first bite at the same time, and my eyes nearly widened at how good it was. Almost missing Clare's reaction, I saw her begin to pig out on the pudding. I started laughing to myself, as I took small, savoring bites.

"What's so funny?" Clare asked, pudding dripping on her chin.

"You eat like a pig." I stated bluntly, laughing a little more. Clare's cheeks blushed bright red, as she began to laugh to herself. We both started laughing more and more, until pudding shot out of Clare's nose onto the table.

Then, I was the only one laughing hysterically...

"Oh my goodness! You did NOT just see that!" Clare exclaimed, running from the table to the bathroom. Wiping my eyes from the tears forming in them from all the laughter, I followed Clare into the bathroom. She was cleaning off her face, and looked slightly - really - embarrassed.

"It's no big deal, Cla-"

"Yes it is! No girl should let pudding shoot out their nose while laughing with their boyfriend!" Clare said, as I used all my will power to restrain myself from laughing once again.

"So? It doesn't matter to me... What if I even said I found it attractive?" I cooed, resting my head on Clare's shoulder.

"I'd say you're pretty sick, and in need of professional care." Clare replied, making me laugh as I followed her back into the kitchen.

"Well, it wasn't one of your finest moments, but it wasn't your worst." I told her, honestly. Clare laughed.

"What moment was worse than that?" Clare questioned.

"Any moment you've cried." I said. Clare smiled sweetly at me, and I kissed her softly on her cheek.

"I'll clean the table and dishes, and save the pudding in the fridge." Clare said, as I nodded. As I was about to lend her a helping hand, the house phone began to ring.

"Goldsworthy residence." I spoke into the phone.

"Eli, it's your dad..." He sighed, before continuing. "Look kiddo, I'm sorry I never got to say anything to you this morning... But I was in a hurry." He paused for more than a few seconds, and worry began to settle in my stomach.

"What happened?" I asked, nervous for the answer.

"Your mom was gone this morning when I woke up... I attempted calling her, and it went straight to voice mail. I think she was taken away... Your sister noticed the front door was open, and you know if your mother wanted to get away for a little while, she would never leave the door open for anybody to just stroll in... So, I'm on the search for her. I took Cristina with me, so that you wouldn't have to take care and worry for another person... I can't stay on the phone much longer, we're almost to the Canadian border and the connection is getting rough. I'll try to call again soon. I won't be back for a while... I left you most of the money I had on me in the bottom left dresser of my room. Be careful, and take care of yourself. I love you, son."

"I love you t-" And before I could even finish, he was gone. From the corner of my eye, I could see Clare staring at me. I stood there, dumbfounded, still trying to process the information he just gave me in one phone call.

"Eli... Are you okay?" Clare asked, putting the pudding in the fridge and walking over to me. I stared at the door of my trailer; the same door my mother was taken from, for the second time. The same door my father used while disappearing off to God knows where, taking the only family I had left with him. The same door I have the urge to run out through, get into Morty and drive off in search for my little family.

But I can't do that to Clare... Whom had her hand resting on my shoulder.

"Eli?" She asked again. I shook my head, and gave her my undivided attention.

"Yeah... I-I'm fine." I said, accidentally stuttering. Dammit. Clare eyed my face up and down now, curiously.

"No you're not... Who called you? What did they say?" She practically interrogated me, making me feel a little angry. I breathed in, breathing out any anger building up.

"My dad called... He and Cristina are out looking for my mom. She was taken or something last night... They're gonna be gone for a while." I confessed to her. She looked at me in awe, her jaw slightly dropping.

"Eli... I'm so sorry... Maybe you could stay over at my house until they get back? Or I could stay here with y-"

"That's so... "Clare" of you." I chuckled, "But I'll be okay on my own... Somebody has to watch the trailer, and I don't want to hog you from your family members and friends... Thank you, though." I said, closing the space between us with a soft, gentle kiss on her wet lips. She smiled sadly as we pulled away at once.

"Clare... I hate to feel I'm kicking you out, but I think I just want to get a head-start on being alone." I told her, anger settling inside me after finally sinking it all in. The last person I wanted to take it out on was Clare.

"It's fine... Just call me tonight, okay? … I'll see you at school tomorrow." She said, before pecking my lips and giving me a firm hug. Before she disappeared to get her stuff from my room, I didn't even remember if I hugged her back. She stood by the front door, her book bag sitting on her shoulder... Waiting for me, I guess?

"What?" I asked, not realizing how rude I sounded until her face turned a little shocked.

"Um... Would you mind taking me home?" She asked, quietly. I sighed, before grabbing the car keys.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to come off as a jerk." I said, as I walked us to the hearse.

"It's okay..." She assured, as we settled into the car. I turned on the ignition, and practically sped ten miles over the speed limit to get her home. When I parked in front of her house, I didn't even look at her. My thoughts were elsewhere, and I could barely still feel her presence next to me.

"Bye Eli..." She said, a sad tone carrying through her words.

"See ya." I said coldly. She left my car, shutting the door almost so softly that it didn't close all the way, and I left before I even checked to see if she got inside.

Once home, I stormed inside my trailer, shutting the door so hard behind me that I was surprised it didn't fling off the hinges. I felt my heart swelling, beating fierce blood throughout my system as I grabbed a flower vase and threw it against a wall, shattering into broken pieces. Tears welled in my eyes, loneliness consuming my entire body as I began to think of the lonely nights I will have to endure for who knows how long...

I began to breathe wildly, on the verge of a panic attack, but I calmed down...

"_They'll come back, Eli... They'll come back..."_ They haven't even been gone a day, and I'm losing it... They'll probably be back in a week, tops.

If not... I don't know where my sanity will be.

**A/N: Wooooo! … Was that worth the wait? I hope so. Expect another update sometime in the near, NEAR future! =D **

**Psst... The faster I get some lengthy reviews, the faster I'll update! ;D Haha. It's just because I love you guys! (= **


	17. Should I bring this back?

**I know I let this story slip, and I'm so sorry… I dealt with writer's block, and dealt with it the wrong way by just giving up.  
The other day I was re-reading over this story, and realize now that there's so much more I can do with it. Summer is just around the corner, and I was wondering if there were still people interested in this story? If so, I'll pick it right back up, and keep going with it.  
PLEASE get back to me! **


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